{"id":1019,"date":"2018-05-17T16:37:46","date_gmt":"2018-05-17T20:37:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sallybsedgwick.com\/conversation\/?p=1019"},"modified":"2018-05-17T16:37:46","modified_gmt":"2018-05-17T20:37:46","slug":"easy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/easy\/","title":{"rendered":"Easy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"level\u201cSimple, but not easy.\u201d All of a sudden I\u2019m running into this phrase from several people whose work I respect. It\u2019s meant to be reassuring. It is supposed to, I think, challenge in an accessible way. It seems to mean: The process is straightforward. The steps are clear. The assignment is transparent. But you\u2019ll have to work hard to get to the result you really want.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know about you, but this doesn\u2019t reassure me at all. I like<\/i> things to be easy.<\/i> I don\u2019t really care if things are a bit complicated. It\u2019s about feelings. I prefer feeling a bit lazy or a sense of things flowing in the right direction at the right pace. How about you?<\/span><\/p>\n

I truly think we\u2019ve become obsessed with things being hard and difficult to accomplish. If we don\u2019t struggle, overcome obstacles, wear ourselves out, put in long\u00a0 <\/span>hours, and lift heavy boxes, we think something doesn\u2019t have much merit. Read almost any account of someone you admire. They\u2019ve overcome adversity, struggled for years, but still somehow wrestled the world into supporting where they are now. And we bow before such hard work and tell ourselves that if only we too worked 18 hour days we\u2019d be just as successful.<\/span><\/p>\n

The sad part is that I\u2019m not even exaggerating. (Those of you who know me, know I am a tad prone to hyperbole.) People keep telling me stories of how things being hard works. <\/span><\/p>\n

My coach is in a new, beautiful, and a bit unexpected, marriage because of all the hard personal work she put in a year ago. An actress\/mentor\/friend talks about how easy it is to learn the simple blocking of a scene and how hard to embody the character. I\u2019m beginning a new writing class where we have been admonished that the assignments will be simple, but not easy, and it will be especially hard to learn to deal with and give feedback \u2014and face the invasiveness of the assignments. But it will all be worth it (so I\u2019m told).<\/span><\/p>\n

\"blackI like these people and love what they offer me, but why are they so afraid of offering a vision that claims ease? I\u2019d like to suggest that for the most part the only block to an incredible life with associated awesome results is our insistence that we have to fight against our challenges and flaws. We have to pat ourselves on the back for our extreme effort. We must claim that the only things that have worth are those that we have, in a sense or literally, won through or despite adversity. <\/span><\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m not saying that adversity, heartache, and tragedy aren\u2019t real. Your boss goes rogue and you lose your job. Your partner dies or falls in love with your best friend. There\u2019s a fire or an accident or an economic depression. These things happen. <\/span><\/p>\n

It is in the process of getting past, through, or over\u00a0 <\/span>these events \u2014 somehow making it to the other side \u2014 that the hard \u201cnot easy\u201d conversation or experience happens. Yes, I\u2019ve been there too. <\/span><\/p>\n

There is one simple (there\u2019s that word) thing I\u2019ve noticed each time it\u2019s happened to me though. The hard part was never the event or obstacle. Every time what was hard was daring to relax into the easy possibilities on the other side. <\/span><\/p>\n

In other words the hard part is making yourself jump over that obstacle, often without knowing what is next. Or letting yourself fall into it. Falling is easy! Accepting debt, death, or divorce can be immobilizing. But once you do, there is only easy possibility on the other side. Really. <\/span><\/p>\n

For instance Spirit Moxie mainly exists because of the death of my partner Jim and the corresponding changes in my daily patterns. I made the decision to spend some money I didn\u2019t know whether I had. It was only by accepting that I had to move on and relaxing into those possibilities that Spirit Moxie could be born and can continue to grow.<\/span><\/p>\n

So try it for awhile. Choose ease. If something doesn\u2019t feel easy as you do it, perhaps it\u2019s not the right path. You stare at the blank piece of paper, struggle to light the pilot light rather than feeling where it is, or you worry to the point you\u2019re immobilized.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead breathe. Feel your breath through your whole body. Note the brief pause at the end of a breath: a mini-vacation! And then, simply, do the next thing.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"floorThe easier something is to do, the more likely we\u2019ll follow through and get it done. Studies show that removing as few as 20 seconds of resistance to a task or new habit makes it more probable that we\u2019ll actually do something. If the empty space on the floor by my bed is clear, I\u2019m more likely to do my morning stretches. Keeping healthy snacks in the front of the fridge and the rich chocolates in a hard to open container on a top shelf helps create new diet patterns. Showing up when you agree to meet friends for a walk is easier than calling to cancel. Having paper and pens nearby makes it simpler when you want to write or sketch. [Source. Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage<\/a>]<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i>So when circumstances seem hard, feel where the point of ease might be.<\/span><\/p>\n

And make things easy. Claim things as easy. Relaxing into them gives guidance and brings positive change. <\/span><\/p>\n

Are you ready?<\/span><\/p>\n

____________________________<\/p>\n

All photos by Spirit Moxie (from the top):
\nLevel path
\nShady, the disco cat (Portrait of Ease!)
\nSpace by the side of the bed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cSimple, but not easy.\u201d All of a sudden I\u2019m running into this phrase from several people whose work I respect. It\u2019s meant to be reassuring. It is supposed to, I think, challenge in an accessible way. It seems to mean: … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-asides"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s6DJHl-easy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1019"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1022,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions\/1022"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}