{"id":1075,"date":"2019-02-26T15:08:52","date_gmt":"2019-02-26T20:08:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sallybsedgwick.com\/conversation\/?p=1075"},"modified":"2019-02-26T15:09:00","modified_gmt":"2019-02-26T20:09:00","slug":"whats-in-a-name","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/whats-in-a-name\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s In a Name?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Does your name reflect you? In fantasy books, in multiple stories, in the Bible \u2014 in all these places, there are claims that that power of your name and the spiritual connection of knowing your name gives you power and others power over you. A couple of years ago, I wrote about how we name others,<\/a> but this post is about your<\/em> name \u2014 how you are actually called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been claiming names since I was 11.That summer, we moved from my paternal grandmother\u2019s house in Illinois to my maternal grandmother\u2019s in Pennsylvania. Immediately the surrogate grandfather (isn\u2019t that how all older adults are named?) who lived down the alley in that small Midwest town (aren\u2019t alleys how all kids get around?) started writing to me from Illinois in beautiful calligraphy \u201cDear Sally B\u2014.\u201d I\u2019ve pretty much been signing my name that way ever since, always claiming my middle initial on cards and forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Baby<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\tMy mother always wanted a little girl named Sally. I never asked her why. It was just my name. Sally was her mother\u2019s\/my grandmother\u2019s name, but in retrospect, that seems almost too obvious a reason. (My mother, on the other hand, always thought she was named for her father\u2019s boat\u2014although I\u2019m pretty sure that wasn\u2019t true because she also shared her name with her aunt.) My middle name is the same as that of my other grandmother, which made my initials SBP. If they\u2019d used her first name, it would have given me the initials SAP and my parents were wise enough to avoid that! When I got married, a zillion (in child years) years later, I kept my middle name rather than use my maiden name as a middle name. And when I was divorced two zillion years later, I kept my married name because 1) it was my children\u2019s last name and 2) it was how I was known professionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tSo, I\u2019ve been playing with names for awhile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tHowever, for a long time \u201cSally\u201d has just felt odd. Somehow, when I was called \u201cSally,\u201d it felt as if people were talking about someone else. It went along with being described as \u201cnice,\u201d which didn\u2019t feel like a compliment. Or sweet. It made me feel little. However I had no clue what I would change it to. Not \u201cElizabeth\u201d which is what my now ex-husband and I would have named a daughter. Nope. Nothing fit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"B\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

People do change their names. The friend who did the beautiful calligraphy \u201cB\u201d on the right and on my personal Facebook page wanted and needed a new identity and is now known as Puck by everyone. The name fits her too. She<\/em> even managed a legal change. Today I went to brunch with my friend Frankie, who claimed that name as her own \u2014 with no relationship to her given name \u2014 when she was 12. It\u2019s a name embraced by everyone except her mother. In fact I never even thought about it until I realized, thanks to an Uber driver, that legally she had a different name. Many divorced women (most?) reclaim their maiden name when the divorce becomes final. Other women keep their birth name when they get married because it is theirs. Multiple couples agree on joint last names – sometimes hyphenated, sometimes with no relationship to their original last names. Children insist that they will be called whatever (as Frankie did) and we oblige. My older son went from Peter to Pete while his younger brother is always the \u201cfull\u201d Andrew. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\tOut of curiosity, have you ever thought about this? I feel honored when people know my name and am always surprised when people I have no recollection of ever meeting \u2014 or have met casually \u2014 call me by name. Although now it\u2019s becoming problematic. Or at least ironical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"B\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\tI\u2019m not sure where it started, but somewhere I realized my middle initial could be my name. Perhaps it was using emojis when texting a friend and the bee \ud83d\udc1d became my signature. In any case \u201cB\u201d started pulling me as a possible new name. So when I went to a retreat where only the leader knew me, I tried out \u201cB\u201d on my name tag. And by the end, even the presenter got it right. Fast forward to my bucket list trip to Hawaii where, except in the Apple Store, I was B to everyone. Even my AirBnB hosts instantly claimed B as my name, while I\u2019m sure that wasn\u2019t on the reservation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I came home and announced to the world, or rather the few Facebook people who actually see my posts, that I wanted to be called \u201cB.\u201d Some just, simply, switched (you know who you are – thank you). Some said they couldn\u2019t (and yes, I still love you). And some struggle with it, and I\u2019m grateful. Most of you don\u2019t even know I made the request to be called \u201cB.\u201d Often, I introduce myself as B and someone comes and calls me Sally. Baby steps. It\u2019s all complicated by my having no intention of doing anything legal about a name change. I\u2019m just being called by a different part of my name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\t\u201cB\u201d makes me feel centered, interesting, creative, and a tad glamorous (ok, the last may be a bit of a stretch, but maybe?). Yes, well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My challenge today for you is to claim your<\/em> name. No, I\u2019m not suggesting a change. But think about it. Right now, how does\u00a0 your name reflect you? How does this contribute to your owning who you are? However you\u2019re called, it is in that place that you are a powerful force for changing the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

_______________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Illustrations from the top:
Baby in carriage – almost certainly Sally \u2014 found in photo album
B \u2014 drawn by Mercurial Puck
Emoji bee \u2014 iOS<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Does your name reflect you? In fantasy books, in multiple stories, in the Bible \u2014 in all these places, there are claims that that power of your name and the spiritual connection of knowing your name gives you power and … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[20],"class_list":["post-1075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-asides","tag-names"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DJHl-hl","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1075"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1085,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions\/1085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}