{"id":1314,"date":"2020-11-04T15:56:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-04T20:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sallybsedgwick.com\/conversation\/?p=1314"},"modified":"2020-11-04T20:08:14","modified_gmt":"2020-11-05T01:08:14","slug":"vocabulary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/vocabulary\/","title":{"rendered":"Vocabulary"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n
\n
\"Dandelion\"<\/figure>
\n

Weed = something that isn\u2019t where it belongs. Remember, there are people who cultivate dandelions for their greens (and maybe the flowers for wine?).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

This is a Spirit Moxie definition (in Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference)<\/a><\/em> that got me thinking about the use of words in general. But what really hooked me on the importance of vocabulary was when I started realizing the power of verbs and adverbs. Who do we say we are? How do we say we are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lately, for many, what we are has been in a battle against \u201cbored, scared, and lonely.\u201d  If one of your words is \u201cdepressed,\u201d  honor it. It could very well be real information that should be addressed, although how to approach it is beyond the scope of this Conversation piece. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOverwhelmed\u201d is also a particular favorite. I\u2019m not saying that any of these descriptions isn\u2019t true. It is just that they are so common in our current world climate that if you are not claiming these emotions people think there\u2019s something wrong with you. If your surroundings say you should be afraid, the fact that you are calm and at ease can be seen as a ruse and viewed with incredulity. Even people who are usually sensitive and insightful have told me I must feel stress; they were confused when I said I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are more insidious words that I think most of us use every day that contribute to the above feeling, such as: \u201cI have to,\u201d \u201cI need to,\u201d and \u201cI should.\u201d I have<\/em> to do something about that. I need <\/em>to go there or do that. I should<\/em>\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Shadow<\/figure>
\n

Try eliminating those words from your vocabulary and see the difference it makes in your attitude and reactions. It\u2019s hard. You may find yourself arguing with yourself. But honestly, there really isn\u2019t anything we have<\/em> to do. Seriously. Oh, there may be consequences if we don\u2019t pay the bills, feed the family, or, in our house, walk the dogs. Going to work, either physically or virtually, is expected. Taxes are due. I <\/em>think you should vote, but what I think really doesn\u2019t count. And so forth. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

These are the should and need scenarios that fill our life. So, try changing them. What do you want<\/em> to do? I wanted to vote. I don\u2019t always want to walk the dogs, but I do want them to be happy and healthy. I do want to keep my promises and contribute to the household where I live. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"airplanes<\/figure>
\n

For there is how we keep promises. I have written about keeping your word<\/a>. Our calendars hold schedules, appointments, etc. But I suggest that freedom comes in planning to do these things. And then seeing what happens. The perfect examples were the two airline tickets I had booked for trips in February and March 2020, both cancelled as COVID-19 spread through the world. Oh, you say, that\u2019s different.  But is it? What I had was a plan which is different from the event or thing itself. Now I have credit on Delta Airlines which I hope to use, but right now have no concrete plans to do so. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

There is however one use of the word \u201cshould\u201d I share all the time. So much for being consistent! It is one of my playing with time mantras. If I\u2019m just being present (or just being), how do I get anything done? So often I ask, \u201cWhat should I be doing now?\u201d There\u2019s that word \u201cshould.\u201d But this is more of a check in with my mind and body. To what activity am I, as they say, leaning in? What, apparently, I should be doing now is typing, composing this Conversation. There\u2019s a clue since I am doing it. It helps because I want to be doing it. So, it is a loose \u201cshould.\u201d And sometimes I don\u2019t do the \u201cshould\u201d that answers that statement. (It really is comfortable on that couch.) Often, I\u2019m already doing whatever. But at other times, it can be a nudge. \u201cTo where or to what am I being nudged\u201d is a bit awkward, but can serve as a translation for \u201cWhat should I be doing?\u201d A nudge is much more inviting, less demanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple of days ago, I was asked to make sure someone was awake at a certain time. I had about two hours until then and wanted to run an errand. When sending a text letting them know, I found myself wordsmithing since, as someone who plays with time, I found myself unwilling to be definite about schedules. (Freeing, really, but that\u2019s a different post.): \u201cI\u2019ll be back by\u2026\u201d – no. How could I really know that? The words I used were \u201cI plan to be back by\u2026.\u201d which were true. I did plan to be. And was. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I suggest you play with how you talk about your actions and see if those actions then feel more or less freeing. How does how you define things affect the bored, scared, and lonely parts of your day? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What changes when actions are not something you have to do or must do or, gasp, should do? Or even need to do. Rather what happens when they are things you want to do, plan to do, or are feeling a bit of a nudge towards doing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And no. You don\u2019t have<\/em> to do any of this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts? Your experience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Book link for Moxie Moves<\/a> <\/em>is a Spirit Moxie Amazon affiliate link, which only means we get a couple of cents from them if you buy something!

Photos from the top:

Dandelion \u2014 Anders Sandberg
Dog walk \u2014 Spirit Moxie
Airport Sunrise \u2014 Amy Marsh<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Weed = something that isn\u2019t where it belongs. Remember, there are people who cultivate dandelions for their greens (and maybe the flowers for wine?). This is a Spirit Moxie definition (in Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference) … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-asides"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DJHl-lc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1314"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1322,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314\/revisions\/1322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}