{"id":841,"date":"2017-03-07T13:30:30","date_gmt":"2017-03-07T18:30:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sallybsedgwick.com\/conversation\/?p=841"},"modified":"2017-03-06T17:15:34","modified_gmt":"2017-03-06T22:15:34","slug":"just-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/just-be\/","title":{"rendered":"Just Be"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m so confused.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"CDI’m talking to a guy who showed up in my life out of nowhere and helped me through the month of hospitalization that ended 2016, adapted to my commitment to not own a car, and introduced me to the worlds of music and basic hippiedom that existed as parallel universes while I was growing up. And while his showing up (magic?) was confusing by itself, my questions were more about the call to be less than present (too active) or even mindful, but to exist without being driven by plans or expectations.\u00a0<\/span>I just seemed to be called to simply be. I think he and I both found that confusing.<\/span><\/p>\n

For the past few years I have learned that our bodies often know better than our minds as to what is good for us and who we are called to be. Our bodies certainly remember traumas and, I think, celebrations. Our minds are full of societal expectations and the basic survival responses of fight or flight. <\/span><\/p>\n

We become doctors or lawyers to please our parents. In my case, I found myself majoring in Classical languages because my mother taught Latin, even though I’m terrible at learning languages. I think my mother even played with being a writer. Certainly identifying myself as a writer is currently making a lot of sense to me. But it is through our bodies that we somehow know the truth of how and what we are called to be. Often our bodies react by getting sick, gaining weight, or creating other problems if we don\u2019t pay attention to our calling but instead run after the societal demands of the mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"blackThis is a lengthy way of explaining that when I fell down for no reason in late 2015, my only explanation was that my body wanted my attention. When this happened, I was called to just be so as to help the mild concussion I received from the fall heal. I wrote about it in Moxie and Miracles<\/a>.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The year following the fall I did things like sell possessions and get coaching in presenting and sharing Spirit Moxie and talked a lot about the importance of being present. Then
\ncancer (a rare form of leukemia) showed up and again my only option was to \u201cjust be.\u201d Every time I pushed forward into action, or even pursued what for me was the simple act of being present, I landed back in the hospital. <\/span><\/p>\n

So this time I’m paying attention for the long term and working on just being. I don\u2019t want to know what will happen to me if I don\u2019t pay attention this time to the call to just be. But interestingly, a surprising amount happens when you stay in this \u201cjust being\u201d place. Earlier today, almost all my bills got paid and I had a very fruitful time with homework for a class on stock options (no clue why I\u2019m called on this one, but I am having fun, which is enough). But right now I\u2019m sipping on a latte waiting for a friend to show up in a couple of hours. Yes, hours. Oh, and I’m typing this between odd computer games and just looking out the window.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"HospitalOf course questions arise. My coach (I recommend you find one) asked me what I was still sure about. My immediate answer was that I\u2019m still sure about the vision of Spirit Moxie, the vision that we can change the world if we dare claim the little things we do. I\u2019m also sure that all that happened in 2016 is somehow right if I allow it to be. (You can read about my fairly chaotic year in Dream updates I<\/a>\u00a0– and II<\/a>.)<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m also noticing what is changing. For instance my morning meditation practice has become more fluid, and a bit inconsistent. The pattern for years has been acknowledge my body, give thanks for at least 5 things that happened the day before, identify what actions I\u2019ll take for Spirit Moxie, review what should happen for the day, and drift into more conventional meditation practices with visioning and letting go.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"PersonalFour years ago, I explored Danielle LaPorte\u2019s Desire Map<\/a> idea and identified for myself “creative,” “connected,” “adventurous,” and “light” as the core feelings that feed me. But now I am wondering if those are still true or too active or ????<\/span><\/p>\n

Basically I am practicing living moment to moment, which is incredibly hard since, like almost everyone else, I\u2019m wired to plan and accomplish “things.” However, when I get it right, as much or more happens than did before I made a conscious effort to \u201cjust be\u201d moment to moment. <\/span><\/p>\n

When I share this concept, some people seem to get defensive. Responses include: <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u201dI can’t do that, I have too many obligations.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u201cOh, yes, that is being present.\u201d [When I just said it wasn\u2019t] <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u201cI don’t have the time.\u201d [Stay tuned for more information on a completely different relationship with time.] <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u201cWell that’s easy.\u201d [Maybe it is for them.]<\/span><\/p>\n

So, breathe. In. Out. And listen to what you are saying, either audibly or in your mind, and thank your thoughts for sharing. Just be and see what the next moment holds. <\/span><\/p>\n

My friend is still a bit bemused by the whole idea of \u201cbeing,\u201d although he can see that it works by watching me.<\/span><\/p>\n

How about you? Confused? Intrigued? Experiences?<\/span><\/p>\n

____________________________<\/p>\n

All photos by Spirit Moxie<\/p>\n

From the top:
\nA small part of the “guy’s” CD collection
\nInjury from fall
\nView from hospital room
\nComputer “wallpaper” with personal Desire Map words<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m so confused. I’m talking to a guy who showed up in my life out of nowhere and helped me through the month of hospitalization that ended 2016, adapted to my commitment to not own a car, and introduced me … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-asides"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6DJHl-dz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=841"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":856,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/841\/revisions\/856"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=841"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=841"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spiritmoxie.com\/conversation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=841"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}