2020: Find beauty. Explore. Share.

Realize that’s all I want to say to you for the new year.

Well, that and that Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference can indeed be a new year’s journey. Change the world, change yourself. Or vise versa. Available through your favorite source for books. And an autographed copy is still available at https://spiritmoxie.square.site

Your thoughts re the year, the book, your dreams?

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.Photos from the top:

View from airplane – Spirit Moxie
Moxie Moves, the book – Cynthia Jane Collins

Little things are important to notice. They’re interesting to experience. We look and find ourselves doing “little things” that affect those around us. Little things can transform into bigger things.

But what do you see other people doing that affects others? What makes you proud? Or embarrassed because someone is doing something you think you “should” (don’t like that word) be doing? Or surprised, because you hadn’t thought of that action or seen or noticed it before? Noticing new things could certainly be on our list of “little things that can change the world”!

This list of things others do began on one of my bus rides. A woman got on, moving slowly, carrying multiple grocery bags. She was one of those people who was so cheerful she had everyone else on the bus smiling and engaged. Apparently she was familiar to those who rode this bus route at about this time. Suddenly, in a residential neighborhood, the driver stopped the bus. Safely, but not at a bus stop. The woman got up to gather her bags and the driver watched her get off the bus carrying as much as she could. The driver then got up, gathered the rest of the woman’s bags, took them off the bus, and (after also picking up the bags the woman was carrying) put all the bags on the woman’s front porch. The driver then got back on the bus and proceeded to the next stop. Matter of factly. I’m pretty sure this action is not suggested in any bus driver’s manual. The driver was just making a difference.

On the way back, as I was waiting for a bus near a grocery store, a woman came out and, as she also waited for the bus, moved shopping carts that people had abandoned at the bus stop back to the store’s parking lot. She also picked up some major trash that was lying there. Somehow I hadn’t thought of doing either of these things, but she just matter of factly did this. Again making a difference.Later, while visiting my favorite library, I overheard my librarian friend, the one I said usually appears only when I need her, carefully and cheerfully going over and over with an apparently confused woman the procedure for applying for a passport, including proper forms of payment and what each of them meant. 

Finally, remembering that supporting artists is important, I ended up at a corporate gallery where a friend was exhibiting. While there, I talked with a woman in her early 20s who was helping manage the exhibit. 

“What are you interested in?,” I asked.

“Oh,” she answered. “I’m writing a book on how different population areas, such as urban and rural, react to politics and change and how they might communicate with each other more effectively.”

And so, she, too, is changing the world.

On other days, things happened to affect my personal world. 

“Where have you been?” Julie, the woman I mentioned in our last post “Little Things,” asked me. “I’ve been praying for you.” 

Having a door held open for me just because. A friend matter of factly fixing my jewelry box. People bringing flowers when they come to dinner. 

So, notice. What is happening around you that you now know is a “little thing that can change the world”? Give thanks. Another little thing. And so it goes.

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All photos by Harriet Kaufman
From an exhibit at the Stay and Wonder Gallery, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Artist: Mary Barr Rhodes – http://marybarrrhodes.com

I’m excited about this new year. Maybe it’s because 2018 ended with an almost violent reset. A relationship I knew wasn’t forever ended suddenly. Maybe because my continued quest to “just be” has become more second nature with practice. Or perhaps it’s because I have an ongoing commitment to hope and possibility.  Maybe it’s an intuitive knowing.

In rereading my challenges for us for 2017 (Dream) and 2018 (And a year begins), I wonder how I could have been so wise. And still, at the beginning of this year, I enter with positive uncertainty (yes, this can be true) and excitement. I did dream. And I didn’t have concrete expectations, or, in other words, put limits on, how those dreams should appear. (You  might want to reread those posts too!)

The BOOK isn’t published, but has acquired a new urgency and importance as to how it could be useful to others. It’s written. I’m currently reviewing and doing a bit of rewriting. Plus, an expansion suddenly appeared reflecting how the ideas in the book are presented. Working on it has become fun, although sometimes challenging.

I did get to Hawaii, the first planned bucket list item I’ve done in years. So, somehow one can plan and “just be” at the same time, which is a skill I’m slowly learning. One buys the tickets or makes the plan — but you know that action is separate from the trip or the event. If it happens, it happens. For example, when I was ill at the end of 2016, I had to cancel two plane trips, but wasn’t penalized at all for doing so. Last year, I bought tickets for an event before my relationship ended and I wound up going to the concert with a completely unexpected someone for a supportive and gentle, and unplanned, afternoon.

On Spirit Moxie’s Facebook page (where there are suddenly thousands of likes thanks to some great social media coaching), I asked, “what word or phrase are you claiming to guide and support you” for 2019? Perhaps this is one of the more common “don’t make resolutions” ideas. Friends on other sites are using words for 2019 like “success” as theirs. But my true challenge to you is more systemic. What word will pull you when you’re feeling depressed? What will remind you of who you are deep in your heart at your very best? What word can encompass the feelings your dreams elicit?

Danielle LaPorte created something called The Desire Map which has you discover what feelings feed and support you, the feelings that confirm you’ve had a fabulous day. Mine — but remember these aren’t yours — are “adventurous, creative, connected and light.” I thought living as “just being” would change them, but they haven’t. You might want to discover your words. But even if you don’t use her resource think about it. How do you want to feel? Be as specific as possible.

And join me in entering 2019 with positive expectations. We are claiming little things that can change the world, remember? Hope opens up the possibility for those expectations to appear.

So, what worlds or phrase will support you? And us.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie – from the top:

2019 – sidewalk art
Waikiki Beach at sunset
Facebook post – photo of Richardson Bay, California

No, I didn’t tell you. I just assumed that you knew.

I don’t know about you, but when things seem obvious to me, I don’t even think about them. It’s beyond thinking that they’re equally clear to everyone. A communication about whatever it is really isn’t even on my mind. This is why I’m always getting in trouble because I don’t mention things like, well, I’m not coming up with anything because I’m not even thinking about it. It just is.

But you need examples? Well, for one, things are neater and cleaner when the trash is taken to the garbage bin. Another is that humans are all related. Also, apparently contradictory things can be true.

These were just off the top of my head. But the first time I realized that what was obvious to me wasn’t always obvious to others occurred during a misguided stint teaching English and theatre. Oh, I had  (still have for that matter) the credentials and could facilitate a discussion. But I was also expected to impart information, to “teach,” and, while I know a good deal about these subjects, I have trouble recalling facts or sharing them in any detail. In this instance the students were reading plays, but not participating. After a few classes that filled me with frustration, I caught on. Not everyone “sees” (like having your own pop-up stage in your head) a play when they read one. So they have difficulty following the storyline. I do “see” plays in my head and assumed everyone read like this. 

I experienced this in reverse when a staff I worked with (technically I was the boss) refused to believe I wasn’t just avoiding work when I suggested they pack up after an event while I sorted out the details with the hotel. The fact that they, and probably you, could put the same items into less space in a shorter amount of time than I could never occurred to them. Not my skill set. Someone can fold the SAME stack of clothes as I do and it will be two to five inches shorter than the stack I fold. Really. No matter how careful I am.

On a day-to-day basis obvious things include thinking it’s clear where you’re meeting someone. Understanding likes and dislikes. Knowing it’s perfectly fine and safe to be downtown in a city. Seeing what’s polite, like having your change ready when you’re in line waiting to pay for something.

What are your concrete examples?

Recently, while increasingly living moment-to-moment “in the present,” which I began sharing in “Just Be,” I’ve crashed into other’s expectations. As mentioned in previous posts, I’m writing/producing a short book explaining Spirit Moxie, which involves giving people a few concrete tools to engage in the important work of making a difference in the world. The purpose of the book is to give readers insights to see how, with a slight shift in intention, they can make a difference by doing what they’re already doing.

Dutifully I’ve had several people read the preliminary manuscript and have received good comments and a few insights. But suddenly the purpose of the book, which was obvious to me, was perceived as not specific enough. Not personal enough. Too short (but I write “short,” don’t I?). The result has been this post, a lot of staring at games on my phone, and the occasional escape into a mystery story.

I thought the book was personal. And that the idea of making a difference was obvious. Somehow, while I accepted the needed challenge to clarify and rewrite. the actual process has not reflected the ease I also think should be obvious.

The hiatus of staring out windows and at keyboards has also increased my minute-by-minute appreciation of how interesting and beautiful the world is. It’s increased my gratitude to the couple of people who have read the book and thought it had the right degree of personal-ness and length. And I’ve gotten back to “obvious.” I now have a determination to look again at the book’s beginning, to see where I’m making assumptions. To indeed make it clearer and, ideally, more interesting.

Meanwhile what’s obvious to you? Keep a list. I’ll do the same. And we’ll see where the obvious keeps us from connecting.

Oh, and thanks for engaging anyway. And not being too mad I didn’t tell you what I meant more clearly. Together we can make a difference. Obviously.

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By the way, the book’s working title right now is Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference.  How does this work for you?

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Photos from the top:

Iridescent Stairs (why?) – Heartyjacques
Pages from Our Town by Thornton Wilder — Spirit Moxie
Sidewalk Art (a good thing?) — Spirit Moxie
View from Bridge (beautiful?) — Spirit Moxie
Possible Title Page!

Thought we needed this! Enjoy. Comment. Share.

Click on Picture for Video

When events feel dark, it’s important to remember the world really is beautiful. Filmed by Spirit Moxie at the Newport Aquarium. Edited by www.garytempleton.net

“Simple, but not easy.” All of a sudden I’m running into this phrase from several people whose work I respect. It’s meant to be reassuring. It is supposed to, I think, challenge in an accessible way. It seems to mean: The process is straightforward. The steps are clear. The assignment is transparent. But you’ll have to work hard to get to the result you really want.

I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t reassure me at all. I like things to be easy. I don’t really care if things are a bit complicated. It’s about feelings. I prefer feeling a bit lazy or a sense of things flowing in the right direction at the right pace. How about you?

I truly think we’ve become obsessed with things being hard and difficult to accomplish. If we don’t struggle, overcome obstacles, wear ourselves out, put in long  hours, and lift heavy boxes, we think something doesn’t have much merit. Read almost any account of someone you admire. They’ve overcome adversity, struggled for years, but still somehow wrestled the world into supporting where they are now. And we bow before such hard work and tell ourselves that if only we too worked 18 hour days we’d be just as successful.

The sad part is that I’m not even exaggerating. (Those of you who know me, know I am a tad prone to hyperbole.) People keep telling me stories of how things being hard works.

My coach is in a new, beautiful, and a bit unexpected, marriage because of all the hard personal work she put in a year ago. An actress/mentor/friend talks about how easy it is to learn the simple blocking of a scene and how hard to embody the character. I’m beginning a new writing class where we have been admonished that the assignments will be simple, but not easy, and it will be especially hard to learn to deal with and give feedback —and face the invasiveness of the assignments. But it will all be worth it (so I’m told).

I like these people and love what they offer me, but why are they so afraid of offering a vision that claims ease? I’d like to suggest that for the most part the only block to an incredible life with associated awesome results is our insistence that we have to fight against our challenges and flaws. We have to pat ourselves on the back for our extreme effort. We must claim that the only things that have worth are those that we have, in a sense or literally, won through or despite adversity.

Now I’m not saying that adversity, heartache, and tragedy aren’t real. Your boss goes rogue and you lose your job. Your partner dies or falls in love with your best friend. There’s a fire or an accident or an economic depression. These things happen.

It is in the process of getting past, through, or over  these events — somehow making it to the other side — that the hard “not easy” conversation or experience happens. Yes, I’ve been there too.

There is one simple (there’s that word) thing I’ve noticed each time it’s happened to me though. The hard part was never the event or obstacle. Every time what was hard was daring to relax into the easy possibilities on the other side.

In other words the hard part is making yourself jump over that obstacle, often without knowing what is next. Or letting yourself fall into it. Falling is easy! Accepting debt, death, or divorce can be immobilizing. But once you do, there is only easy possibility on the other side. Really.

For instance Spirit Moxie mainly exists because of the death of my partner Jim and the corresponding changes in my daily patterns. I made the decision to spend some money I didn’t know whether I had. It was only by accepting that I had to move on and relaxing into those possibilities that Spirit Moxie could be born and can continue to grow.

So try it for awhile. Choose ease. If something doesn’t feel easy as you do it, perhaps it’s not the right path. You stare at the blank piece of paper, struggle to light the pilot light rather than feeling where it is, or you worry to the point you’re immobilized.

Instead breathe. Feel your breath through your whole body. Note the brief pause at the end of a breath: a mini-vacation! And then, simply, do the next thing.

The easier something is to do, the more likely we’ll follow through and get it done. Studies show that removing as few as 20 seconds of resistance to a task or new habit makes it more probable that we’ll actually do something. If the empty space on the floor by my bed is clear, I’m more likely to do my morning stretches. Keeping healthy snacks in the front of the fridge and the rich chocolates in a hard to open container on a top shelf helps create new diet patterns. Showing up when you agree to meet friends for a walk is easier than calling to cancel. Having paper and pens nearby makes it simpler when you want to write or sketch. [Source. Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage]

So when circumstances seem hard, feel where the point of ease might be.

And make things easy. Claim things as easy. Relaxing into them gives guidance and brings positive change.

Are you ready?

____________________________

All photos by Spirit Moxie (from the top):
Level path
Shady, the disco cat (Portrait of Ease!)
Space by the side of the bed

To be is an incredible minute by minute way to live and I started a conversation post to share it with you. But last week I ran flat into its opposite.The space where nothing seems right. I’ll bet you know that place too! Suddenly I was where nothing I do is clear, no one understands the power and importance of Spirit Moxie, the book that I think I want to publish isn’t useful, and I am probably fat and ugly to boot. Nope. Not a place to “just be.” 

Oh, I’ve been working on all of the “be” pieces for over a year now so I knew this wasn’t true. But even with breathing and intellectual appreciation, old habits stopped by. Self-indulgence. Self-doubt. Feeling vulnerable…

I’ve been writing a book to explain Spirit Moxie. No, I have written a book to explain Spirit Moxie. And FYI, the book’s working title is Mattering. A book to encourage anyone who thinks that what they do doesn’t matter. And to support those (like you) that know their day to day actions do matter, but still welcome encouragement and challenge. It’s been read by a friend in Maine. It needs serious editing. And a title.

So last week I met with my friend Linda for a brainstorming session to begin the process of naming the book. (You met Linda in “Moxie and Miracles” as the librarian who only appears to me at work when I need her. ) After a great hour or so we came up with:

1) Make a Difference: merely matter
2) Merely Matter: a simple guide for your every day

We liked the alliteration of “merely” with“matter” and how “merely” implies how easy and basic making a difference can be.

The next day I shared these options in three different places on Facebook: 1) the Spirit Moxie page; 2) my personal feed; 3) a private group for creatives curated by the incomparable Samantha Bennett and The Organized Artist Company. There were three very different responses.

On the Spirit Moxie page, people mainly just voted (mostly for #2) or made alternative suggestions such as Mattering: a guide for your every day, Matter, and What Matters? 

On my personal page there was an intense discussion of the word “merely,” which was seen as implying “minor” and “unimportant” to one respondent. Which then promoted a debate that “minor and unimportant” was, perhaps, the point and for another prompted the poem shared towards the end of this conversation.

But the most revealing conversation was in the private group where it was very clear that despite my explanations not only didn’t the title work at all for someone who hadn’t heard about the vision of Spirit Moxie, but that the idea of mattering wasn’t obvious and by implication a book wouldn’t have an audience if it had that focus much less benefit by having the word in the title. OK. So I’m exaggerating.  Slightly. While humbled by the scope and intensity of the answers and versed enough in criticism and “being” to appreciate the input, I was, being merely human, and shall we say “disheartened.”

My internal dialog went something like, “No one really wants the insights of Spirit Moxie. And while people say that helping people see how they make a difference is exciting, in print it’s confusing and useless. This will never work. There’s no way to respond. Etc.”

Does any of this sound familiar? So I went to bed. As soon as I lay down my mind said, “You need to write about this. The heck with a gentle post about the day by day – this is about ‘angst’ and people need to know this happens.” Somehow I didn’t jump up and start writing. Sleep. “Sleep” is actually one of the topics in “the” book as one of the things that changes the world and perhaps I should practice what I, as they say, preach. Finally I slept.    

So what is the point of this? Even being in the day to day, angst, despair, whatever will creep in. But breathe. Like it all. For anything appearing this way is just information. Yes, despite all of the above, all I’ve been told is that I/we need a title. And we know that.

Where does angst creep in for you? Is it simply information?

And then there’s the word “merely” which prompted this response from Spirit Moxie follower Brian Johnson:

‘Merely’ a snowflake helped move tons of snow,
     fed rivers with life,
helped seasons come and go.

‘Merely’ a smile, a hug, a kiss, a hand to hold…
     brought hope to the paining,
the lost lonely souls.

‘Merely’ a step closer, to extend a loving hand,
     bring back and heal family, universally
distributed throughout the lands.

Help overcome darkness by bringing the light,
     of selflessness, caring, sharing
and ‘mere’ might. ♡

So in summary: The above title suggestions don’t grab a lot of people. The reason for the book is that people are confused about the need and importance for claiming their every day actions. Most people like the name “Spirit Moxie.”  As I wandered through this I came up with one more suggestion:

Moxie Moves: 10 ways to change the world or 10 ways to make a difference.

But I/we need your suggestions. That’s how little things work  So leave a message here,  call me for a drink or a walk, or rant in an email. For the whole Spirit Moxie premise is that we can only do this together.

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Image credits from the top:

Brainstorming session — Spirit Moxie
Logo for Tango with Time created through Organized Artist Company connections
by Jazlyn James during the above “angst”
Bed — David A. Lynch
Helen Keller quote in Main Library of Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County —
Spirit Moxie