Focus

Posted on March 30, 2026 by B

Rocky beach As a topic, the importance of focus has cost me nine months of writing (I started this in June 2025!) and at least one friend (which I won’t amplify with an explanation). I’ve become entangled in politics when my main idea has always been the importance of focus for us as individuals. I think this is a third draft. Let’s see where the conversation on focus leads us today.

The impetus for this post, and a source of frustration since I like the guy, is a good friend’s insistence that the world sucks, his life sucks, and, unless (and I’m betting not even then) he gets a sudden influx of cash, it will always suck. Looking on I can see multiple ways this isn’t true, but for him, there are people who have let him down, jobs that don’t pay enough, no love life, health issues, a very old car, and a house needing pricey repairs. That things aren’t going and won’t go well in the future is a daily mantra. There seems a certainty in this focus that shuts out any possible change, growth, or joy. I know other in people similar situations who focus on the positive things that happen. It probably does not surprise you that more positive things appear for them as a result.

When it looks as if things aren’t 100% going your way, there are three concepts that help transform those things:

Poster: If nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies The first is curiosity. If you live as if the world is on your side, what is unfolding? There’s a word for this. Pronoia. The opposite of paranoia. The curiosity comes from assuming this as real and seeing how it’s true.

The second is expectation. Where is that next positive thing for you. How is it manifesting? Related to pronoia, this is more a place of waiting than action. If this idea seems a bit untenable, it might be useful to keep a list of the things that do show up for you whether it’s an unexpected conversation or a financial windfall.

And the third is simply clarity. Without limits, what do you really want to have or have happen? (But here’s a warning. I’ve learned the Universe has a sense of humor. What actually happens might not look exactly as you envisioned it. But you’ll realize when it shows up that it fits right now.) This was shared beautifully on Facebook by the performance coach Thommy Sandvick. “You get what you focus on. For years, I focused on what I didn’t want — and I kept recreating it. The moment I got clear on what I did want — and started making decisions from that place — everything changed.”

Ah, clarity. Often knowing what you don’t want feels clearer. Does what you don’t want have an opposite? What would things be like if what you didn’t want was absent? Extensive focus on what is wrong or what you don’t want usually either strangles possibility or creates walls. Plus that negative focus almost guarantees that you’ll have more of what you don’t want. Note that obsessing about what you do want also strangles. Obsession emphasizes its absence.

Poster: If nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies Presence and curiosity (those words again) combined with positive action — even if that action is only baby steps — allows the positive in. What positive thought (yes thoughts have power) or action, even one so small you think it couldn’t make a difference, wants to happen?

When you focus (without obsession) on what you want, on the positive, you start seeing how something might be true. You see things and to your amazement things change. It can happen quickly, but even if it takes time, you are comfortable waiting.

So, what’s your focus? Are you getting in the way of what you would like to have happen, or are you finding joy in what is emerging?

____________________________________

All photos by Spirit Moxie

Rocks! — Waimanalo Beach, Hawaii
Yes Sign — Portland, OR
Butterfly (poster?) — Cincinnati 2018

Like Difference

Posted on October 21, 2025 by B

Cheese display On the original list of “100 Ways to Make the World Work,” there are at least four suggestions that embrace either difference or diversity. And at some point you may very well see a Conversation on every one of them. It’s a simple acknowledgement that variety enriches us.

“Of course!” you say. But do people really think so? There are tourists abroad who always seek out McDonald’s. There are people I know who won’t go “downtown” because of their visions of panhandlers, crazy people collecting soda cans, and others who don’t look or act like they do. There’s the food you don’t like because of texture, taste, or just, well, because.

So, if difference and diversity (if one dare use that word), enrich us, how and why can’t we embrace this? But why should we? We still don’t like those foods and are uncomfortable when that person on the corner gets a little loud and moves oddly. Most of our friends look like us, talk like us, and are on the same social level. We watch the same shows on television every week, repeat our usual social patterns, and have preferences on clothing, pets, and sexual partners. In the process we reflect, positively or negatively, values passed down from our parents and the opinions of our friends.

Difference? Where, when, why, and, in today’s world, how?

First of all, I’m guessing that when I said, “variety enriches us,” you agreed or you would have stopped reading. There’s an agreement that variety stretches us in good ways, perhaps helps us at least seem smarter, more productive, or increasingly creative.
So? Where does this variety show up for you? Perhaps you love traveling. Whether a new town down the road or a new country across the ocean, when you travel there are different foods, faces, and festivals. Do you find all this interesting, fun, challenging? Sit with it. How do these differences impact you? Do they change you? Expand how you think or look at your daily life?

For one scientific example, in horticulture, variety has been proven to help plants develop resistance to disease. Developing a single strain of something eliminates responding to disease and unexpected pests or can challenge users of that particular plant. Less artificial manipulation of crops, e.g., “non-GMO,” has produced crops that cause fewer allergic reactions (at least for some of my friends).

That said, where else can you see differences? In people? Maybe your Uncle Frank gets angry easily and you’re more mellow. Perhaps most of the people, or even one or two, at that event or in that store have a different skin color or talk with an unfamiliar accent or are in a different age range. How might that enlarge your understanding and experience of the world? Could there be another way to look at something you assumed?

When was the last time you tried, if you dared, an unfamiliar food or drink? Did you like it? Did it put you off trying something else? (For whatever reason, food is one of the things that brings communities together, which is something to remember when traveling or exploring other cultures.) When did you last retry something you were sure you don’t like, but weren’t allergic to? Any change?  One of the best ways to embrace the idea of difference being positive — maybe the only way — is to take a moment to really know yourself and liking what you are. Race. Sexuality. Nationality. Age. And, yes, also the things that seem to be given about you that in theory could change, such as religion, language, food preferences, skill base, interests. Where have you changed things in those categories? While I don’t easily learn other languages, I can be polite in several. From my teen years through now, I went from always using cream and sugar in my coffee to adding just milk to drinking it black, with a several year preference somewhere in there for drinking tea in the morning. At least one unexpected interest change, that came through a brief relationship, is that I am now a Formula1 fan and can, in a pinch, watch or listen to conversations about auto racing.

Superficial? Maybe. But change can be subtle. In fact. it’s seldom abrupt.

How does this serve you or change the world? When you know who you are, diversity and difference don’t threaten you. And most of the world isn’t like you. In fact, none of it is because there is only one you. Seeing difference becomes interesting and exciting rather than threatening and creates peace, calm, and lovely options when we step outside our own doors. It might make it possible to listen to someone you don’t agree with but would love to understand. It might be fun! It certainly changes the world.

___________________________

Photo by Spirit Moxie:
Part of the cheese display at Gibb’s Cheese,
Findlay Market, Cincinnati, Ohio

Pronoia

Posted on May 28, 2025 by B

Computer with blank screen Last night, tired and slightly under the weather, I came home, made a hot toddy, and went to my computer. The cord said, “fully charged,” but no matter what I did, the screen stayed an unresponsive black. There wasn’t a way to turn it off and on, and I couldn’t find a reset pinhole (wasn’t there one of those on laptops?). It didn’t matter what keys I pressed. So, I put down the lid and imagined, in the morning, writing a frantic email on my phone to some folks I had planned to connect with via zoom and an unplanned trip to the Apple Store.

And I went to bed. Apparently, I needed sleep, and I actually slept rather than worrying. One of the things I say is that my electronics support me—and if you let them, I’m betting they do you as well. I do believe in doing things moment by moment, so all I could do at this point was sleep.

Sure enough, when I woke up the computer was working just fine, thank you.

So how does the world work for you? Where does unexpected support come from? Or is the positive alien to your experience? Yes, you have the choice of either possibility being true.

For some there is the expectation and experience of everything going wrong. Electronics don’t support you; they need to be replaced. People can’t be trusted. Everything is too expensive. Yes, I have had to replace things. I could use new electronics. Most of my jeans and shoes and some of my shirts seem to be all worn out at the same time.

black dress with butterflies On the other hand, a new friend gleefully took it upon herself to rescue a dress I love that had embarrassing holes by adding butterflies and has repaired at least one pair of pants. I’m told she’s working on other things now just from the pure joy of it. Plus, all my electronics do work, thank you very much.

Right now, I’m in the process of finding my next place to live. After some discouraging “no”s, both from where I was looking and from my feeling a place wasn’t right, I went back to a couple of places I viewed last February. The price had gone up in the building I thought I liked the most, but in February nothing was available. Another, while still in a great location, was a bit iffy re management and didn’t have an apartment that would have overcome my concerns. But the third! Well, the price for this one is less than the others; the reasons it didn’t quite work in February have disappeared; and there are financial incentives for moving in now. No, the application process hasn’t been smooth, and assistance for a physical move isn’t in place quite yet either.*

So again, I’m called to presence. There are lessons here, including knowing it’s ok to depend on new friends, dream a little about all the options, and, apparently, the need to finish this Conversation.

This isn’t a Pollyannish existence. It is considering “pronoia,” that the world is working in your favor, vs. paranoia, that others (and everything?) are against you. While writing this I am conscious of a lot of evil and disaster in the world. You don’t need a list. How can one say that pronoia is possible when people suffer and cause suffering? When the housing doesn’t come through?

Pronoia isn’t really about what’s happening. Neither is paranoia. They’re about your reaction to what’s happening. Paranoia is seeing the Universe as out to get you rather than expressing curiosity as to how and what might unfold. Being willing to buy a new laptop, to explore other cities as places to live, and to rearrange one’s spending plan one more time for unexpected bills without viewing those bills as personal threats. It’s getting three hugs instead of one (because I actually like hugs), meeting two people headed out on trips that have at different times called me, and being reminded that one can get a lot of things just by asking (all flats for my wings and extra celery please).

teddy bear on window sill So, when things aren’t going well, where can you see pronoia vs. paranoia? Can you offer gratitude in your current situation? (Gratitude and curiosity are two major responses if you want a happier and more abundant life.)

I don’t know about you, but, while I am realistic about the world, I’m voting for happiness and ease. I think it improves our actions, and our future, as we effectively hold to the premise that what we do changes the world.

_______________________________________

* Of course after this was written, assistance for the physical move appeared from multiple places.

All photos by Spirit Moxie. From the top:

Computer with blank screen
The resurrected dress with butterflies
Bear supervising the set up of a new apartment

Use Your Turn Signals

Posted on April 10, 2025 by B

“It costs money to add those!” I can hear my mother’s voice muttering at a driver turning without signaling.

turn signal controls for an FUV “Why should I use them? There’s no one around,” retorted the voices of random friends.

“What a metaphor for all that is going on!” said the Spirit Moxie Advisory Board members as they suggested new Conversation (what we call these posts) topics.

As someone who is more pedestrian than passenger or driver these days, and who therefore needs to predict the actions of vehicles that happen to be nearby and heck, who tries to predict the actions of people as well, turn signals are golden. Yes, they can save lives, although thinking someone is turning when they’re just changing lanes can be unsettling or dangerous, too. Remember that when you think there are no other vehicles, or no pedestrians around, you could be wrong. Yes, even in rural areas or on a seemingly deserted residential street. Just yesterday, a car making a familiar turn clearly hadn’t seen me at all. I know it was a familiar turn because it then whipped into a driveway.

The question here is, what turn signals do you use? Let’s begin with that car or truck you drive, assuming you drive. When I learned to drive, the rule was to use turn signals every time, whether someone was around or not. Doing this gives you the advantage of habit and a bit of insulation in case there really is a pedestrian on that dark corner or a traffic cop behind that pole. I’m curious if you have any stories.

Finger pointing right As a frequent pedestrian, I often signal to cars as to whether I really will cross the street or if I am letting the car go first. Sometimes the car won’t go first because they’ve learned to not trust walkers or other drivers. (Is that car really letting me in?)

In the larger scheme of things, similar signals are needed in simple day to day life. Little things like keeping your word (OK, so that isn’t so little). Bring home the milk you promised to get or show up at least close to 5 p.m. as scheduled. Sometimes little things backfire and are misinterpreted as signals. The person listening decides your voice tone is off, and you are really criticizing and not just commenting. They were expecting a turn signal although the driver hadn’t engaged one since they were actually driving straight ahead.

Sometimes a major change in direction is anticipated by the driver, but the simple turn signal isn’t enough of a clue. So the divorce or job change surprises other participants and leads to accidents, or at least stalls (if we keep the car metaphor going). How do you interpret turn signals from colleagues, family, and friends?

Do you ignore them? Experience might lead us to not pay attention to family or friends, colleagues or politicians. They didn’t mean what they said. They never do whatever. It couldn’t possibly affect me. While there are no words of wisdom on this, I suggest taking people immediately around you at their word, however mistrustful part of you remains. Listen*. If nothing else, it confuses things for them. You can call them out if they lie and are prepared if they do act on whatever they said. Also, by being clear yourself, you encourage trust and confuse people who aren’t trustworthy. The bottom line here is what you do.

So use your turn signals. Be honest. Listen. Be grateful when you’re heard. Yes, it’s part of changing the world.

__________________________________

Credits and notes from the top:

Turn signal controls on an Arcimoto FUV – Spirit Moxie
Handspiel – marfis75 on flickr
*Listen is move #6 in Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference

Mattering

Posted on October 22, 2024 by B

Book (Moxie Moves) and Bear on bed When I first had the, “I really need to publish a book, plus I am tired of no one really understanding Spirit Moxie” conversation with my self, I chose the working title, Mattering. But I soon discovered that the problem with that title was that no one really understood what it meant. Mattering didn’t invite one to grab a copy off a bookshelf.

So when I first tried to save a draft of this Conversation piece, I got the message, “An item with the same name “Mattering” already exists in the same folder. Do you want to replace it?” Ahhh. I’d forgotten my book’s working title. So now those initial files are safely in their own folder under the book’s final title Moxie Moves:10 easy ways to make a powerful difference.

Shirt reading you are exactly where you need to be Today it is “mattering” as its own topic that is haunting me. Spirit Moxie, which has become part of my identity, now has a life of its own. Most of its fairly original ideas, which were once a tad controversial, are now common place. I’m single and alone a good deal of the time. I was pretty tired when the feeling that “I don’t matter” hit me a few days ago. Even while I was tired, I could journal a bit. I remembered that my children can’t really imagine a world without me, that I have great friends who love me, and that there are at least one dog and one cat on this world who miss me terribly when I’m not around—or at least their behavior when I reappear is indicative of that.

On a larger scale, why do we find claiming that we matter so difficult? Here in our Conversations and on our YouTube channel, I’ve repeatedly reminded all of us that we make a difference. But I’m betting that many readers put themselves aside as the one exception. Other people matter. But how could I?

As I write this, we’re approaching an election in the United States. Do you really believe it matters that you vote as we have claimed it does? And what was that about sleep which is one of the 10 ways to make a difference discussed in Moxie Moves? How could my sleeping, tired or not, change the world as a whole? Plus what about recycling? Does it really make a difference? Don’t they just throw everything away anyway?

I’m writing this during a MeetUp hosted by my housemate. While no one cares, really, what I’m writing, it’s not mirroring the group’s official writing genre. Does it matter that I’m mainly here to support?

decorative shelf And so it goes. Who, me? Matter? Turn it around! In the upcoming election, it matters that there is a person I’d prefer have elected. A vote at the very least acknowledges that and affirms the importance of participating. Getting a good night’s sleep makes me more productive and a lot easier to be around as well as healthier. And, when I was working on the “Recycle” Conversation post linked here, I visited a recycling plant, so I have seen recycling work. Plus, here at the MeetUp, I just lent some paper to a guy who asked what we are doing and sat down to join us. The participant sitting next to me signed up for Spirit Moxie emails and voiced interest in “mattering” as a topic. So, I mattered to them, and they mattered to me.

It works that way. One of my favorite social media hashtags is #makingadifference. Much of this is accomplished by claiming that you do, indeed, matter. If you can’t see it right now, take a breath. Look around – and at yourself. Yup. No one else sees or acts as you do. It is the claiming that is key.

Thank you for mattering.

____________________

Images from the top:
Bed, book, and bear — Spirit Moxie
Shirt – you are where you need to be — Spirit Moxie
Shelves, MeetUp location, Bula Kava House — Noël Ponthieux

Pay Attention

Posted on October 7, 2024 by B

Several years ago, I began a speech with the words, “I am an ostrich.”

Ostrich My friends know I seldom watch the news or pursue a newspaper, real or online. This is, perhaps, one way of not paying attention, although it feels more like emotional preservation. The world makes sure I know about any essential events.

But another way of not paying attention literally hit me a couple of weeks ago when I almost walked into a moving train. One had passed going right and it was only the whistle from another one coming from the right, and the gasp (and maybe a hand?) from the person behind me, that stopped me.

Extreme examples? Maybe. But current events for most of us are at such a peak with such things as global conflict and the United States’ (where this is being written) upcoming election that almost all “work with me” or “attend this” invitations assume fear and overwhelm in people based on simply knowing and sharing reactions to what’s going on.

MAX train - Portland So where is the balance? How is one accountable and so not hit either physically or psychically and still able to avoid most fear and paranoia? How does one know what to pay attention to while remaining calm and grounded? And how do we do that?

First, remember that what you continually focus on expands. We know some positives of this. Love of someone worth loving. Talking to plants helps them grow (really). Learning to listen to the needs and wants of your physical body contributes to health and wellbeing. But we get in trouble when we either obsess or delight in the negative. We obsess about wanting a better job or bills we’re not sure how to pay. Or, we find someone with whom we disagree doing something incredibly stupid and delightedly share this information. And share it. And share it. With friends, on social media, and in conversations with our cats. These sorts of focusing give power to the negative.

Energy by its nature expands. Remember? So all these actions and thoughts, but maybe particularly the negative, gives power to things we don’t want to give power to. What do we want to expand? Pay attention and focus on what gives joy and life. There’s a perfect tomato in my kitchen. What’s the best way for me to enjoy it? The cat wants extra time sleeping on my lap. Perhaps I, too, am called to be still. And, yes, you see positive news and share it. You take positive action by supporting a cause, listening to a friend, and loving your body. So look. Drown yourself in what’s beautiful.

Philodendron If you’re having trouble finding the positive, take a minute right now and look around. What are you noticing? One of my most negative friends loves black. If he were here, he could appreciate my black sweatshirt and the “sexy” black mic sock on the microphone by my computer. Breathe. Ah! You can breathe. There is that. Plus your heart is pumping quite independently. You can find the positive in that. It can be that small. If all you know is news, appreciate that you get it and stop there. If you’re called to real action appreciate the opportunity and community. (Most of those bits are always in community.) If you love puzzles, make it a puzzle to find five things to notice and appreciate right now: Our potential lawn guy just lowered his estimate by $50. I got an invitation for dinner. I know where my phone is! This Conversation piece is almost finished. I’ve heard that my friends who were in the path of Hurricane Helene are struggling, but basically OK.

So breathe. Pay attention. What do you see? If it’s negative, weed it out by knowing but not obsessing. Fertilize the positive. Spread energy accordingly.

_____________________________
Photos from the top:

Ostrich – William Warby
(Note: Ostriches burying their heads is a myth, but has become a metaphor for avoidance and they do lower their heads when scared,}
MAX train – Spirit Moxie
Philodendron growing nicely – Spirit Moxie

What We Can Do

Aside

What can we do?????

guys sitting on curb by grungy street If you feel uncertain about politics, violence, economics, the environment, or any other current issues, global and personal, you may also feel a tad helpless about “things.” Perhaps as a reader or follower of Spirit Moxie, you’ve forgotten that there really are little things we can do to change the world. Or maybe you’ve never really thought that little things might work to affect big issues.

But little things do make a difference. First consider energy. Yup. Consider how you’re feeling right now. Energy spreads. Think of anger and how it can morph into a riot. Well, it works the same way with peace and calm. Think of a meditative space such as a cathedral or even those quiet spaces in airports. You walk in and can feel your whole body relax because of the energy of others who are there or have been there. At a recent Corner of Calm, a half hour virtual event where we simply share calm, I talked about this. You can hear this reflection on YouTube. Perhaps monitoring or changing your emotions doesn’t come easily, but meditation, exercise, and multiple basic exercises can help. What energies do you want in your world? List them.

Moxie Moves on coffee table Then go back to those little things we talk about in Spirit Moxie. If you have a copy of Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference, go look at that list. It really is a start! Below I reiterate the 10 easy ways—but in an order different from that in the book. (The number after a Move shows its order in the book. If there is a highlighted link, it goes to a Conversation post on the same topic.)

Smiling (1.) at people and things is a way to positively change energy as we go about our day. Being grateful (2.) is another way to make it easier to have positive emotions.

“You can’t change the world unless you are willing to engage with yourself as well as whatever is around you.”* Remember this engagement is all catching and a stronger you gives you more power. So, love your body (7.), whatever it looks like or feels like. We are bodies and yours is worth love and care. With this, remember the importance of sleep (3.) which actually affects those around you as well as yourself. There are other Spirit Moxie Conversations not in the book that relate, such as brushing your teeth and washing your hands, which we are constantly reminded are things that affect more than ourselves. There are two other chapters in the book that are more cerebral. Learn (5.) and play (10.). These two activities keep our minds active and curious, informing both our being and our doing.

Hand inserting ballot in ballot box Then there are the concrete actions that make a difference as we can we clearly see. An area without litter (4.) is healthier and safer as well as more attractive (back to emotions!). Keeping your word (8.) presents a world that’s trustworthy. Plus lying has a negative effect on your body so it, too, circles back. Listening (6.) and really, really hearing what others are saying rather than plotting our witty responses, whether we agree with them or not, lays a needed foundation for a better world. Plus, it circles back to learning and, for me, being grateful. Finally, there is the one thing that I’m assuming is completely obvious. Vote (9.) In the chapter on this action there is one more suggestion. Vote for yourself. Everyday. As someone who matters. Let’s start the Make a Difference party.

What you do matters.

_________________________

* Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference, p. 56

Images from the top:
Despondency Jessica Watkins DeWinter
Moxie Moves on table Mary Barr Rhodes
Voting Spirit Moxie

You

Posted on June 27, 2024 by B

Playful giraffe statue

When I really know something is true, whether about the world or even more about myself, I both assume it’s obvious and that it’s, well, true.

But as I think about sharing with you, I realize that’s not good enough. The heck with all snowflakes being different. People are too. Even those with the same DNA such as identical twins. This brings me back to our Conversation about being willing to be wrong. Being willing to be wrong about others.

So, who are you? What do you love? What do you know is true?

The question here is “Who are you?” The challenge of being unique is to understand your bits, and to not expect them to be true of anyone else. Beyond likes and dislikes, although they certainly count, how do you process information? How do you learn? What feeds you emotionally?

Have you done any of the personality tests such as Myers Briggs or the Enneagram? Much of their usefulness is to show how naturally different and unique we are. (I’m not sharing links because I am very suspicious of the online tests.) In Myers Briggs, I’m an INFP, but so close to an E that sometimes it switches. I’m a clear 9 on the Enneagram which explains a lot. In Quantum Human Design, I’m a Time Bender which in traditional Human Design is a Manifesting Generator. Now this might all sound like gibberish to you. I know the basics about Myers Briggs and a fair amount about the Enneagram. I know almost nothing about Human Design.

Perhaps you pay attention to horoscopes which are yet another tool. I’m a Cancer which in traditional descriptions doesn’t fit me at all, although I’ve had some very insightful readings from people who truly use it. But I do know that all of these tools expound ways to show how varied, naturally varied, we all are and, for people who do know and use these tools, helps people accept and celebrate themselves and these differences. Do you use any of these? Others?

What prompted this Conversation post is my personal passion for hearing about your story, differences, and passions. These aspects of who we are are what drives us and the more we are clear, the more it is easy to interact with all the world and so “change it” and make a difference through the day to day seeds of healing we can plant.

For there’s some agreement the world needs healing. And most likely at some level you need healing too. So today’s challenge is simple. Celebrate you. Know that what is obvious and easy for you isn’t true for many others. Embrace that together we can make a difference.

Thank you!

____________________________

Notes:

Photo: Attention getting giraffe — Spirit Moxie
Related reading (includes thoughts on violence): Who are You?

Planting

Posted on May 20, 2024 by B

flowering tree by a sidewalk During COVID, I wrote a Conversation piece around the importance of growing things called “Plant.” Planting – and seeing growing things – changes us and the world. This Spring, the trees and flowers have particularly enthralled me, perhaps because I’ve been walking more, as I’ve watched the world – or so it seems – bud and bloom. Breathtaking.

Plus, during the winter someone gave me cuttings for four houseplants so I’m now, again, a proud plant owner.

But along with the natural world, I’ve recently been reminded of what we plant in each other. This can be negative and positive.

Hinted at in the Conversation “Be Litter Free*” in the book Moxie Moves, is the negative energy we sometimes inflict on those around us. False ideas. Misplaced anger. Helpful suggestions that aren’t terribly helpful. Like the piece of paper that falls out of your pocket, some of this might be inevitable and is certainly unintentional. But recognizing this as, if you will, a way we plant weeds in our world is useful. Weeds, by definition, are what is growing where we don’t want them to be.

However, focusing on the positive things we might plant can mitigate some of this. For it is our positive plantings that do change the world. Kind of like the marigolds you plant with your vegetables to attract bees and, so we’re told, deter many pests. Plus, while they won’t keep the deer away, marigolds are at least one flower the deer won’t eat, so that flower bed can indeed boast flowers! What might you do that is a positive planting?

hand dropping ballot in ballot box Many are on our basic “little things that can change the world” list. Smile.* Listen.* Vote.* Keep your word.* Or are more provocative like “be kind to animals” and “don’t kill.” For today, what are the simple seeds you can plant? A sincere compliment, maybe to the grocery store checker or the person ahead of you in line? Grinning at the little kid who is looking at you when their mom isn’t noticing? Being honest when asked a question. (Lying hurts the person to whom you’re responding, but also hurts you physically as well as mentally. Really.)

You get the idea. What have been your favorite Spirit Moxie Conversation posts? What would you add?

Besides, the little things, there are also the fairly big things we plant in the world. For some it has been a new business that has affected their community, country, and planet. Perhaps it is an idea tentatively shared or a new insight. It’s existing things like libraries. I’m working in one right now which is offering free internet access to multiple patrons or, for me, good wifi in a place free of the distractions of home where I can also find a recommended book to take home to read after dinner. Our highway network. Electricity. The Internet.

4 small pots with plants Part of your job might be the dreaming that creates these — but it is certainly gratitude for them which helps give them power.

So, plant. My new housemate moved in with an almost full bag of potting soil, so now my cuttings have graduated from glass jars to real pots. I’ve been trying to share more of my ideas, most recently around “doing without doing” (or “how to be lazy”) which might not change the world, but might change someone. Plus, I am writing to you.

Share – how and where are you planting?

________________________________

All images by Spirit Moxie. From the top

Spring trees
Voting in Oregon
New houseplants

*In Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference (Amazon link)

The Challenge of Story

Posted on April 24, 2024 by B

Five star library sign; bookshelves Almost everyone loves a good story, whether a formal tale or that anecdote about the guy in the supermarket. It’s one reason gossip is fuel for so many and, I’m guessing, is also the basis for serious insights revealed in therapy.

One version of story — I might argue the most pervasive version — is what our minds “say” about feelings and events. It may indeed be raining. Someone hit you. Joe actually said those words. I might like rain, see the blow as a playful punch, and know Joe was teasing. However, you might experience rain as depressing, be scared of such violent action, and feel violated by Joe’s words. When one starts identifying our interpretations as story, it can be very freeing even when the interpretation is negative. And when we start looking at being powerful in the world, truly wanting to contribute to positive change, just beginning to see this is important.

However, there are other sides of story. There are the ones we hear and read. But today the sides I’m fascinated with are the ones that explain how we’ve evolved and are evolving into our best selves. This is the part of you that, perhaps, loves animals, understands music, and smiles at strangers. The part of you that yearns to change the world, that wants to make a powerful difference, has also been formed by story.

Because often our default in stories about ourselves is negative, and we usually tell those stories to share our vulnerability, I dare you to look deeper. Other stories are there.

shadow of figure on sidewalk I got to this point by realizing I’m sometimes impatient when people see situations as hard (yes, I know I don’t know all of the details). And I realized why. One day I was simply walking down the street by the main branch of the Cincinnati public library (officially the Cincinnati and Hamilton County Public Library), headed to meet my son for dinner. Suddenly I fell down. I didn’t trip. I didn’t pass out. My shoes were tied. There wasn’t a bump. I just fell. Flat on my face. Well, at least I turned my head. After I convinced the 20-year-olds passing by that they didn’t need to call 911 and was given some Kleenex by one of them, I proceeded on, got some ice for my head from the restaurant’s bartender, and had dinner. Two days later I finally went to my doctor who diagnosed a mild concussion. And the remedy for a mild concussion is low light and no activity.

So, I thought, in the best new age manner, “What is my body trying to tell me?” Clearly, since my body simply fell, it was trying to get my attention about something. As I lay there in the low light, I realized it seemed to be calling me to be simply present. It was saying that planning and forced acting wasn’t me. And for a year, I easily lived in that space.

But at the end of the year I was diagnosed with an odd kind of leukemia. Clearly, in this story of listening to my body, my body was actually shouting. This time the attention getting involved three weeks in the hospital, first with chemo, second through a process of resetting my white blood count, and finally the diagnosis and treatment for a nasty MERSA infection. Apparently, being present was still too active. I was called just to be.

Personally, I love this story. Mainly because it works. People talk about internal mind chatter (yes, I do still have some), how hard it is to live in “now,” and being overwhelmed with day-to-day demands. Apparently, almost dying (as my doctor once impatiently reminded me) can make just being almost always easy. Note that through just being, multiple things happened, or got done if you prefer, such as publishing two books* and moving across the country.

Green rock with "Believe in Yourself" on it This, too, is a story. Somewhere there is a story that works for you. Perhaps it’s about learning how to love. Or what happened when your kids finally realized they didn’t know everything. Maybe it has something to do with seeing, really seeing, that you’re good at skiing or gardening or playing the Legend of Zelda. Or whatever you like to do.

You may learn that you can relax enough to begin a story where you, too, find the advantages of presence, being, and ease.

Play with it. It’s time to give your positive stories space and love. I dare you to share!

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All photos by Spirit Moxie – from the top:

Main branch of the Cincinnati Library – 2019
B’s shadow on sidewalk
Rock – “Believe in Yourself” (Don’t really know the source of this photo, do you?)

*Books: Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference
Talking to Trees through poetry and pictures