Moves for Our Time

This is yet another Coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19) message.  It’s March, 2020, and this post is about the little things, the Moxie Moves, you can do right now to change the world. 

tree roots in sidewalk

Remember this crisis is about you. No matter your demographic, you can still be infected (even fatally) and no matter where you live, the real danger is to the healthcare infrastructure, that supports you. It can be easily stretched beyond its capacity.

Also remember this crisis is not about you, i.e. don’t take things personally [#22]. No matter your demographic, it is not just about protecting yourself, your lifestyle, or your theories. It is about daring to claim that you are part of humanity. It’s about our world. 

First, be willing to be wrong  [#8]. This may be the hardest action to actually do, but probably it’s always the most important. We find being right comforting, but the facts about this disease are skimpy. We aren’t 100% sure how it spreads. We don’t always know who is infected (including ourselves) because they may be asymptomatic. This uncertainty leaves us vulnerable to being manipulated. If any action is distancing you from your neighbor, not just physically, but emotionally, be suspicious [#7]. But still continue to respect rules and guidelines [#80]. One can be neighborly without direct physical contact. 

Don’t obsess about the news. Fear and negativity affect our health. When you do read about this pandemic listen to facts from multiple sources [#57] and make certain they are confirmed. In the United States if you need to know more, try the official source cdc.gov rather than relying on Facebook or newscasts Globally try the World Health Organization.

Take care of your body [#98].  This means eating nutritiously (e.g., fewer processed foods) and getting enough sleep* [#90]. as well as remembering to wash your hands [#115], which we wrote about three years ago. So, you’ve been doing that all along, right? Avoiding touching your face unless you hands are clean has been emphasized by others. Apparently touching our faces is the only way we can get infected by the virus lurking on surfaces. 

Be generous [#3]. Give a little more if you can when you tip [#100] when responsibly eating out if that’s still an option, or having food  or other necessities delivered. Try to shop locally [#87] which supports vulnerable businesses and strengthens our local infrastructure.

stereo equipment and books

Figure out how to responsibly stay positive and productive. Imagine this relates to the 2014 Conversation catch a firefly [#11]. Yes, it’s the wrong time of year. But right now we need delight, curiosity, and joy. Really look at things. Colors. Shapes. Ideas. Dance [#16]. Solo living room dancing is a known art form and great exercise (which relates to caring for your body). It also could be, if you reread the original post, a good metaphor for our response to today.

Respect others privacy  [#79]. Everyone is responding to this crisis in their own way.  Enjoy what you have [#26]. When was the last time you really appreciated your sock drawer? The pen collection? That odd gift from Aunt Susan? Ask for support [#2] [link] when you need it. Offer support [#66]. People are being very creative.  What about you?

And finally, I remind you of two key Moxie Moves. Smile* [#92] at yourself in the mirror, at what you’re reading, at a pet or a  photo or a tree. And give thanks* [#28] [link] about everything. The privilege of solitude. Food. Friends. Words. Give thanks for the challenges of social distancing, quarantine,  health,  and illness.

Together we can still, no, we can continue to  change the world. 

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Sign: # indicates number on list

The number in brackets [#00] is the number in Spirit Moxie’s current list of 120 things we can do together to change the world. There’s a link if there is a longer Conversation post about the move. An asterisk (*) means the move was included in our book Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference. We look forward to hearing your responses.

All photos are by Spirit Moxie

From the top:
Intertwined tree roots in Bangkok sidewalk
Toys: music, books, games
Sign from book launch party

Intention

There are a few phrases, idioms, sayings that I hate, not only because I don’t like them, but because I think they’re destructive. “Everything happens for a reason.” “It was God’s will.” “We’re only given what we can handle.” I think these platitudes make us complacent, take away cause, and often remove our motivation. Let’s face it, sometimes things just happen.

SidewalkMeanwhile, there are all the bits I’ve been saying here about listening to our bodies. These comments might sound the same. Specifically, I’ve been claiming that our bodies keep trying to get our attention as we live into our best selves. (I was going to say “true purpose,” but that sounds as if there is only one right path, which I don’t believe at all.)

This means that at some level, we already know who we are at our happiest, most joyful, and most effective—however that manifests for you. This knowledge is often not in our minds because the brain is wired to protect us. The brain does this by building on past experience. So, in a very simple example, if you survived being yelled at by retreating and if you have found comfort and security through eating, those actions will form your safe patterns when there might even be just a chance of loud noises occurring. You’ll retreat and reach for the ice cream.

On the other hand, our bodies somehow know that these responses come from our mind protecting us and that patterns such as retreating and compulsive eating keep us from being our best selves. As a result, I think our bodies often do things to intentionally get our attention. Sometimes it’s just a vague feeling one can learn to identify, but often (maybe because we keep refusing to listen), it’s more dramatic. For example, I think a fallI I had in 2015 and my odd leukemia in 2016 were instances of this. These experiences both led me to find my best life journey, one that focuses on learning to live in the now – or just being.

Author with arm in slingSo is a fall always a sign? I don’t think it is necessarily. A couple of months ago (mid-December 2019,) I fell again while walking a friend’s dog. Somehow, I tripped on a rise in the sidewalk, knew I tripped, and fell in a way that I couldn’t stop myself. Sparing you the details of the next hours (and days), I finally learned I had fractured my right elbow and would be wearing a stylish black sling when I was out of the house. But throughout this experience I was, and still am, very sure it was just an accident. I fell simply because I wasn’t focused on where I was going. It was a painful and inconvenient, but effective way to force me to become more ambidextrous. It was a dramatic way to encourage me to continue to ask for help. So, while no cosmic mission (or my body trying to get my attention so I could see the mission) caused the fall, the path to my best self has certainly used it for my own growth. This continues: I just learned my physical therapist will help me improve my posture!

Small dog looking upBottom line: sometimes stuff happens just because it happens. Sometimes things happen because there is something important that you are missing and need to learn about or pay attention to. This simply means learn to listen. Without blaming yourself or anyone else about what happens to you, how are you called to be your best self? What are you being told and why?

What are you learning in your daily stumbles? Have fun with the journey!

 

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Photo credits from the top:
Sidewalks for walking — Spirit Moxie
Author with arm in sling at Yosemite (detail, Christmas, 2019) — Prajak Sophondirekrat
Dog waiting for a walk — Spirit Moxie

2020

2020: Find beauty. Explore. Share.

Blue - ground from plane

Realize that’s all I want to say to you for the new year.

Book: Moxie MovesWell, that and that Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference can indeed be a new year’s journey. Change the world, change yourself. Or vise versa. Available through your favorite source for books. And an autographed copy is still available at https://spiritmoxie.square.site

Your thoughts re the year, the book, your dreams?

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.Photos from the top:

View from airplane – Spirit Moxie
Moxie Moves, the book – Cynthia Jane Collins

Identity

Triggers. Identity. Freedom?

Condo windowIt’s late 2019 and I’m writing this in Thailand, a country where I don’t know the language and have only the vaguest knowledge of the customs. While I was here once before, it seems more difficult this time to actually get anywhere. The last time I was here I stayed with extended family members who would talk to taxi drivers for me. But on this trip, these same people are letting me experiment with what it might be like to live here. I have a small, family owned condo far (or it seems far) from any public transportation. The first time I tried to go somewhere the taxi dropped me off at a major bus station instead of the Sky Train that was my destination. The first cab I tried to hail to take me back home wouldn’t take me even though I showed him the address written out in Thai.

However I’m not still wandering the streets of Bangkok weeks later after that taxi driver’s refusal! The second taxi I hailed was happy to take me home. But in the process I completely panicked and decided 1) that my phone was dying and 2) that the driver was taking me to the wrong place. Neither of these things was true although I was convinced of it even when we turned into the driveway of the housing complex where I was staying.

During that venture into downtown Bangkok, I signed up for language lessons and was given a free lesson to get started. I can now say “I write.” And “I want to speak Thai.” But am I saying these phrases properly? Do I dare ask anyone around here for help with this?
What is going on? I like help! I wrote about it in “Ask for Support.”  Maybe I should read my own writing. In that post I make a distinction between help and support: “While we’re dealing with semantics, asking for help implies need. Support, for our purposes here, implies an addition to what one is already doing, something above and beyond the obvious.”

picture, umbrella, glassesOh, OK. Do I need help? No, I’m fine. I have my Thai phone and have signed up for the equivalent of an Uber service called Grab. I’ve almost figured out how to find locations where drivers can easily find me to pick me up to get home. I can walk from my condo to a mall that has restaurants, a grocery store, and place to buy an umbrella, water glasses, and a pitcher, which were the only things that seemed missing from “my” apartment. I have also learned that I make way too many assumptions. Somehow I expect people to know what I want, but the truth is that they’re waiting to be asked. People are glad when I do ask for whatever.

Somewhere along the way, who I am—the brave, independent person who loves to cook and entertain and talk to anyone about their dreams—has been placed in a space where she’s not allowed to cook (forbidden in the building where I’m living, really), doesn’t know anyone to invite, and who communicates with gestures and smiles. She often curls up in a ball and stays home playing games on her phone. Apparently she didn’t download the right proportion of trashy novels (okay – mystery stories) onto her phone for her usual bookworm diversions. (Yes, library friends, I can connect to “my” library via the internet and find more. But my excuse is that I’m dealing with very poor WiFi.)

Me, the person that some of you know pretty well, who is hopeless at cleaning and a klutz using scissors, now lives where floors need to be swept and ideally mopped every day. I actually brought a small pair of scissors so I could wrap presents. I, who have never effectively learned another language, am now studying Thai. Here, although my journey has had me become less involved with religion and politics, I have mainly met people though church and a political organization for Americans abroad.

i-Time coffee shop, BangkokSo who am I? I just found a coffee shop where I can write on my computer. I still haven’t created a space at home where I can write easily. And I’ve met multiple people (well, six) who are concerned about the process of being present. Through that connection I received an invitation to join a writing group. But I’m guessing that these activities aren’t part of a true identity either. There is a me beyond the one who likes coffee shops for writing and enjoys talking about “just being.”

Elephant, B Sedgwick, mudSomewhere beyond this list of would be busyness there is a calm where possibility is created. Unfortunately it is also a place a bit beyond words which is all I have here. It is an extreme manifestation of what I’ve written before in the process of being. Within this framework, along with the lesson of learning to ask for what I want more often, I’ve had major adventures! For example a day with elephants somehow grounded this feeling. Even more important have been the day-to-day things that just seem to happen. The neighbor, who knew what was going on only through my gestures, but took my phone and talked to my lost Grab driver. Getting an upgraded plane seat when I had paid the lowest possible fare. The people who, when they learned I’m not permanently living here in Bangkok, immediately said, “But you’re coming back, right?” and “Plane tickets can be changed.” Continue reading

Little Things Reversed

Little things are important to notice. They’re interesting to experience. We look and find ourselves doing “little things” that affect those around us. Little things can transform into bigger things.

But what do you see other people doing that affects others? What makes you proud? Or embarrassed because someone is doing something you think you “should” (don’t like that word) be doing? Or surprised, because you hadn’t thought of that action or seen or noticed it before? Noticing new things could certainly be on our list of “little things that can change the world”!

Corporate art number 1
“Last Light of Autumn” by Mary Barr Rhodes

This list of things others do began on one of my bus rides. A woman got on, moving slowly, carrying multiple grocery bags. She was one of those people who was so cheerful she had everyone else on the bus smiling and engaged. Apparently she was familiar to those who rode this bus route at about this time. Suddenly, in a residential neighborhood, the driver stopped the bus. Safely, but not at a bus stop. The woman got up to gather her bags and the driver watched her get off the bus carrying as much as she could. The driver then got up, gathered the rest of the woman’s bags, took them off the bus, and (after also picking up the bags the woman was carrying) put all the bags on the woman’s front porch. The driver then got back on the bus and proceeded to the next stop. Matter of factly. I’m pretty sure this action is not suggested in any bus driver’s manual. The driver was just making a difference.

On the way back, as I was waiting for a bus near a grocery store, a woman came out and, as she also waited for the bus, moved shopping carts that people had abandoned at the bus stop back to the store’s parking lot. She also picked up some major trash that was lying there. Somehow I hadn’t thought of doing either of these things, but she just matter of factly did this. Again making a difference.Later, while visiting my favorite library, I overheard my librarian friend, the one I said usually appears only when I need her, carefully and cheerfully going over and over with an apparently confused woman the procedure for applying for a passport, including proper forms of payment and what each of them meant. 

Corporate art #3
Cadmium Rain by Mary Barr Rhodes

Finally, remembering that supporting artists is important, I ended up at a corporate gallery where a friend was exhibiting. While there, I talked with a woman in her early 20s who was helping manage the exhibit. 

“What are you interested in?,” I asked.

“Oh,” she answered. “I’m writing a book on how different population areas, such as urban and rural, react to politics and change and how they might communicate with each other more effectively.”

And so, she, too, is changing the world.

On other days, things happened to affect my personal world. 

Corporate Art #2
“Egyptian Tributaries by Mary Barr Rhodes

“Where have you been?” Julie, the woman I mentioned in our last post “Little Things,” asked me. “I’ve been praying for you.” 

Having a door held open for me just because. A friend matter of factly fixing my jewelry box. People bringing flowers when they come to dinner. 

So, notice. What is happening around you that you now know is a “little thing that can change the world”? Give thanks. Another little thing. And so it goes.

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All photos by Harriet Kaufman
From an exhibit at the Stay and Wonder Gallery, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
Artist: Mary Barr Rhodes – http://marybarrrhodes.com

Little Things

Straws available upon request signSomehow I again forgot to request “no straw” with my water. But maybe I’m forgiven. Wait staff at my usual breakfast spots and a few bars never bring me one, so I forget that at some places people put them in drinks automatically. Why no straw? Straws don’t degrade easily; they increase trash; and I don’t particularly like them. So for me they’re a waste.

Lately, I’ve been concentrating on getting Spirit Moxie’s book written and published, and apparently, I’ve forgotten to write to you in this period before the book is available. But I remembered our motto: “little things that can change the world.” I do live this day to day and realized I could share a few little things from my past two days. 

But first, coming soon, is THE book: Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference. It will be available both as an eBook and as a paperback. Eventually, it will even be available as an audio book. It will give you another take on Spirit Moxie and the importance of making a difference. I’m spending my days nervously, and excitedly, looking for loose ends both in the text and the details of publishing it.

Apparently, I’m also spending my days forgetting to say “no straw” when I order a beverage.

Findlay Market from the StreetcarHowever some little and some not so little things have happen as they should and do. Every Saturday, I go to our local farmer’s market. While I’m there, I always collect a hug from a woman selling a newspaper that covers stories about the concerns of street people. The paper is sold  by homeless or otherwise indigent people, instead of their begging for money. Somehow I never remember the name of the woman I stop to see, although she regularly bawls me out for being outside with wet hair and tells me about her dog and her husband. So, I figured I’d ask her name! (Again.) This time, I entered it in my phone and, with her permission, took a photo to go with it. As I walked around the market, I realized that these, too, are little things. Connecting with others. Learning names. I also realized I wanted to tell this story to you. So, I found my newspaper seller again. “Do you care if I use your picture on line?” “No,” she replied, “don’t do that. There were these people…[and another story ensued].” “OK, so I won’t use your name,” I said. “Oh, you can use my name,” she answered. “Just not my picture.” So here are other little things. Respect everyone. Ask for permission. Her name is Julie in case I need you to help me remember it.

Sometimes a little thing is honoring and responding to what you think should happen. I attended a local festival with friends and mainly wandered. But three little things worth mentioning happened. The first was my loading a bag of clothes I no longer wanted or needed or didn’t fit into my friend’s car when he picked me up. He was planning a thrift store trip soon. 

River viewThe other two things happened by my following what my body wanted to do which is part of the challenge of just being present and of loving your body. The first thing began by writing an email to friends I thought might also be coming to the event. And ended up with my sitting next to them listening to a great reading of a short play/piece created by a friend of their grandson (relationships are like that) about a coal mine explosion (you need to trust me on this one!). The other thing happened right before my ride was ready to leave the event. I realized I hadn’t seen the river near where the festival was held, and I felt a kind of longing. So, I took off and got as close to the water as I could. Somehow, this felt healing—although I didn’t know I needed healing.

Library Plus, for me there are the ongoing little things such as to remember to smile, ride public transportation, and use libraries.

There were certainly more. But not using straws, honoring people’s names and preferences, recycling, supporting friends, and. listening to my body is a pretty good list for two days. 

I’d love to know if this kind of is post useful. What little things did you experience during the past two days? Sending love. And, if you like, a hug.

What’s In a Name?

Does your name reflect you? In fantasy books, in multiple stories, in the Bible — in all these places, there are claims that that power of your name and the spiritual connection of knowing your name gives you power and others power over you. A couple of years ago, I wrote about how we name others, but this post is about your name — how you are actually called.

I’ve been claiming names since I was 11.That summer, we moved from my paternal grandmother’s house in Illinois to my maternal grandmother’s in Pennsylvania. Immediately the surrogate grandfather (isn’t that how all older adults are named?) who lived down the alley in that small Midwest town (aren’t alleys how all kids get around?) started writing to me from Illinois in beautiful calligraphy “Dear Sally B—.” I’ve pretty much been signing my name that way ever since, always claiming my middle initial on cards and forms.

Baby in carriage - Sally

My mother always wanted a little girl named Sally. I never asked her why. It was just my name. Sally was her mother’s/my grandmother’s name, but in retrospect, that seems almost too obvious a reason. (My mother, on the other hand, always thought she was named for her father’s boat—although I’m pretty sure that wasn’t true because she also shared her name with her aunt.) My middle name is the same as that of my other grandmother, which made my initials SBP. If they’d used her first name, it would have given me the initials SAP and my parents were wise enough to avoid that! When I got married, a zillion (in child years) years later, I kept my middle name rather than use my maiden name as a middle name. And when I was divorced two zillion years later, I kept my married name because 1) it was my children’s last name and 2) it was how I was known professionally.

So, I’ve been playing with names for awhile. 

However, for a long time “Sally” has just felt odd. Somehow, when I was called “Sally,” it felt as if people were talking about someone else. It went along with being described as “nice,” which didn’t feel like a compliment. Or sweet. It made me feel little. However I had no clue what I would change it to. Not “Elizabeth” which is what my now ex-husband and I would have named a daughter. Nope. Nothing fit.

B

People do change their names. The friend who did the beautiful calligraphy “B” on the right and on my personal Facebook page wanted and needed a new identity and is now known as Puck by everyone. The name fits her too. She even managed a legal change. Today I went to brunch with my friend Frankie, who claimed that name as her own — with no relationship to her given name — when she was 12. It’s a name embraced by everyone except her mother. In fact I never even thought about it until I realized, thanks to an Uber driver, that legally she had a different name. Many divorced women (most?) reclaim their maiden name when the divorce becomes final. Other women keep their birth name when they get married because it is theirs. Multiple couples agree on joint last names – sometimes hyphenated, sometimes with no relationship to their original last names. Children insist that they will be called whatever (as Frankie did) and we oblige. My older son went from Peter to Pete while his younger brother is always the “full” Andrew.

Out of curiosity, have you ever thought about this? I feel honored when people know my name and am always surprised when people I have no recollection of ever meeting — or have met casually — call me by name. Although now it’s becoming problematic. Or at least ironical.

B

I’m not sure where it started, but somewhere I realized my middle initial could be my name. Perhaps it was using emojis when texting a friend and the bee 🐝 became my signature. In any case “B” started pulling me as a possible new name. So when I went to a retreat where only the leader knew me, I tried out “B” on my name tag. And by the end, even the presenter got it right. Fast forward to my bucket list trip to Hawaii where, except in the Apple Store, I was B to everyone. Even my AirBnB hosts instantly claimed B as my name, while I’m sure that wasn’t on the reservation. 

I came home and announced to the world, or rather the few Facebook people who actually see my posts, that I wanted to be called “B.” Some just, simply, switched (you know who you are – thank you). Some said they couldn’t (and yes, I still love you). And some struggle with it, and I’m grateful. Most of you don’t even know I made the request to be called “B.” Often, I introduce myself as B and someone comes and calls me Sally. Baby steps. It’s all complicated by my having no intention of doing anything legal about a name change. I’m just being called by a different part of my name.

“B” makes me feel centered, interesting, creative, and a tad glamorous (ok, the last may be a bit of a stretch, but maybe?). Yes, well. 

My challenge today for you is to claim your name. No, I’m not suggesting a change. But think about it. Right now, how does  your name reflect you? How does this contribute to your owning who you are? However you’re called, it is in that place that you are a powerful force for changing the world.

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Illustrations from the top:
Baby in carriage – almost certainly Sally — found in photo album
B — drawn by Mercurial Puck
Emoji bee — iOS

Welcome to the New Year!

Sidewalk art - "2019" I’m excited about this new year. Maybe it’s because 2018 ended with an almost violent reset. A relationship I knew wasn’t forever ended suddenly. Maybe because my continued quest to “just be” has become more second nature with practice. Or perhaps it’s because I have an ongoing commitment to hope and possibility.  Maybe it’s an intuitive knowing.

In rereading my challenges for us for 2017 (Dream) and 2018 (And a year begins), I wonder how I could have been so wise. And still, at the beginning of this year, I enter with positive uncertainty (yes, this can be true) and excitement. I did dream. And I didn’t have concrete expectations, or, in other words, put limits on, how those dreams should appear. (You  might want to reread those posts too!)

The BOOK isn’t published, but has acquired a new urgency and importance as to how it could be useful to others. It’s written. I’m currently reviewing and doing a bit of rewriting. Plus, an expansion suddenly appeared reflecting how the ideas in the book are presented. Working on it has become fun, although sometimes challenging.

Waikiki BeachI did get to Hawaii, the first planned bucket list item I’ve done in years. So, somehow one can plan and “just be” at the same time, which is a skill I’m slowly learning. One buys the tickets or makes the plan — but you know that action is separate from the trip or the event. If it happens, it happens. For example, when I was ill at the end of 2016, I had to cancel two plane trips, but wasn’t penalized at all for doing so. Last year, I bought tickets for an event before my relationship ended and I wound up going to the concert with a completely unexpected someone for a supportive and gentle, and unplanned, afternoon.

San Francisco Bay with wordsOn Spirit Moxie’s Facebook page (where there are suddenly thousands of likes thanks to some great social media coaching), I asked, “what word or phrase are you claiming to guide and support you” for 2019? Perhaps this is one of the more common “don’t make resolutions” ideas. Friends on other sites are using words for 2019 like “success” as theirs. But my true challenge to you is more systemic. What word will pull you when you’re feeling depressed? What will remind you of who you are deep in your heart at your very best? What word can encompass the feelings your dreams elicit?

Danielle LaPorte created something called The Desire Map which has you discover what feelings feed and support you, the feelings that confirm you’ve had a fabulous day. Mine — but remember these aren’t yours — are “adventurous, creative, connected and light.” I thought living as “just being” would change them, but they haven’t. You might want to discover your words. But even if you don’t use her resource think about it. How do you want to feel? Be as specific as possible.

And join me in entering 2019 with positive expectations. We are claiming little things that can change the world, remember? Hope opens up the possibility for those expectations to appear.

So, what worlds or phrase will support you? And us.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie – from the top:

2019 – sidewalk art
Waikiki Beach at sunset
Facebook post – photo of Richardson Bay, California

Obvious

No, I didn’t tell you. I just assumed that you knew.

StepsI don’t know about you, but when things seem obvious to me, I don’t even think about them. It’s beyond thinking that they’re equally clear to everyone. A communication about whatever it is really isn’t even on my mind. This is why I’m always getting in trouble because I don’t mention things like, well, I’m not coming up with anything because I’m not even thinking about it. It just is.

But you need examples? Well, for one, things are neater and cleaner when the trash is taken to the garbage bin. Another is that humans are all related. Also, apparently contradictory things can be true.

Pages of Our TownThese were just off the top of my head. But the first time I realized that what was obvious to me wasn’t always obvious to others occurred during a misguided stint teaching English and theatre. Oh, I had  (still have for that matter) the credentials and could facilitate a discussion. But I was also expected to impart information, to “teach,” and, while I know a good deal about these subjects, I have trouble recalling facts or sharing them in any detail. In this instance the students were reading plays, but not participating. After a few classes that filled me with frustration, I caught on. Not everyone “sees” (like having your own pop-up stage in your head) a play when they read one. So they have difficulty following the storyline. I do “see” plays in my head and assumed everyone read like this. 

I experienced this in reverse when a staff I worked with (technically I was the boss) refused to believe I wasn’t just avoiding work when I suggested they pack up after an event while I sorted out the details with the hotel. The fact that they, and probably you, could put the same items into less space in a shorter amount of time than I could never occurred to them. Not my skill set. Someone can fold the SAME stack of clothes as I do and it will be two to five inches shorter than the stack I fold. Really. No matter how careful I am.

On a day-to-day basis obvious things include thinking it’s clear where you’re meeting someone. Understanding likes and dislikes. Knowing it’s perfectly fine and safe to be downtown in a city. Seeing what’s polite, like having your change ready when you’re in line waiting to pay for something.

What are your concrete examples?

Sidewalk art - sunflower quotationRecently, while increasingly living moment-to-moment “in the present,” which I began sharing in “Just Be,” I’ve crashed into other’s expectations. As mentioned in previous posts, I’m writing/producing a short book explaining Spirit Moxie, which involves giving people a few concrete tools to engage in the important work of making a difference in the world. The purpose of the book is to give readers insights to see how, with a slight shift in intention, they can make a difference by doing what they’re already doing.

Dutifully I’ve had several people read the preliminary manuscript and have received good comments and a few insights. But suddenly the purpose of the book, which was obvious to me, was perceived as not specific enough. Not personal enough. Too short (but I write “short,” don’t I?). The result has been this post, a lot of staring at games on my phone, and the occasional escape into a mystery story.

I thought the book was personal. And that the idea of making a difference was obvious. Somehow, while I accepted the needed challenge to clarify and rewrite. the actual process has not reflected the ease I also think should be obvious.

River from bridgeThe hiatus of staring out windows and at keyboards has also increased my minute-by-minute appreciation of how interesting and beautiful the world is. It’s increased my gratitude to the couple of people who have read the book and thought it had the right degree of personal-ness and length. And I’ve gotten back to “obvious.” I now have a determination to look again at the book’s beginning, to see where I’m making assumptions. To indeed make it clearer and, ideally, more interesting.

Meanwhile what’s obvious to you? Keep a list. I’ll do the same. And we’ll see where the obvious keeps us from connecting.

Oh, and thanks for engaging anyway. And not being too mad I didn’t tell you what I meant more clearly. Together we can make a difference. Obviously.

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By the way, the book’s working title right now is Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference.  How does this work for you?

 

 

 

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Photos from the top:

Iridescent Stairs (why?) – Heartyjacques
Pages from Our Town by Thornton Wilder — Spirit Moxie
Sidewalk Art (a good thing?) — Spirit Moxie
View from Bridge (beautiful?) — Spirit Moxie
Possible Title Page!