Delight

Posted on May 25, 2021 by Sally B.

Be grateful.

We repeatedly run into references, share links and memes, and seek out the statistics around the benefits of being thankful. Gratitude changes how we experience the world, promotes happiness, and increases effectiveness. And that’s just for starters, so they say.

Recently I’ve been thinking about an advanced form of gratitude, with no statistics and no predictability such as you get with my usual suggested exercise of listing five things you are grateful for. We’ve practiced those, or at least been told we should practice them. However, as I’ve been “doing my gratitude practice,” which sounds almost boring as a mandate (although it really isn’t when one does it), I’ve realized the words “thanks” and “grateful” are limiting in day to day experiences.

There is another dimension, an expansion if you will. I am grateful for rain. We “need” it. I won’t have to water our new forsythias. In some parts of the country, people are simply thankful that water flows into reservoirs and streams or that the forest has an extra layer of dampness. But is “grateful” the right word for our feeling of thanks for how a Spring rain smells? Or how raindrops sound on the roof? The distinction I’m now making is that while I may be grateful I can hear and smell the rain, when I actually notice the sound and smell of rain I’m really experiencing delight. Loving the smell. Enjoying the sound.

By paying attention, you can begin to play with delight as a distinction. As you notice what is happening on top of, so to speak, your gratitude, you can actually claim delight. Try this as an extended practice of noticing or as a component of being present. What are the elements of something you like that take you beyond just being thankful for whatever it is in itself?

Once you start playing with the word delight, you will find that sometimes an experience of it will just appear. You are just walking along or cruising the internet or cooking dinner. Suddenly you feel a lightness in your heart or you smile in unexpected happiness. This delight catches you off guard. This is the delight you can’t scientifically look for as a verbal distinction as we did in the above paragraph. Why did I feel delight when I noticed my housemate’s artist aprons hanging on the door? They suddenly just brought joy. Or walking by a neighbor’s yard and seeing her planter on a tree. Was it inviting summer? And mushrooms? There they were! And the feeling wasn’t there when I found some others to photograph as an image for this post. (Later I did find one of the original ones and that is the picture I am using.) Or cruising Facebook and learning that a baby platypus is sometimes called a puggle, a word to delight in all by itself, even if a bit of research gives “puggle” some other uses and platypus babies some other names.

As you continue to notice, you might discover delight can go deeper. On one of my first Uber rides in over a year, my driver took a small morsel of food out and explained it was the right time to break his fast for Ramadan. This was unexpected and I felt honored to be a witness, to be included in this multi-cultural world. In one action my world expanded. And I was delighted.

In the past few months I’ve heard many people say that they seek joy. One way to claim joy is to be open to it showing up (it really is that simple). Since I’ve started this distinction about delight, I’ve been pleasantly caught off guard. For me, a component of delight is joy. And it goes both ways. Feeling joy is one way I recognized delight and so name it.

A lightness of heart. Being suddenly brought to a standstill. A smile. What “symptoms” do you associate with delight? Think about it. Where did you last find delight? Was it unexpected? Recognizing and claiming delight is one of the unsung features of being present, calm, and productive.

I’d love to know how you experience delight. For me, right now, just exploring how we encounter it is well, a delight!

Join me.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie. From the top:

Basket on neighbor’s tree
Artist aprons on door
Unexpected mushroom

Tech Support

Posted on May 6, 2021 by Sally B.

You’re on deadline: have five (ok, maybe more like 10) windows open on your computer; you’re using the calculator on your phone; and suddenly, everything freezes. Everything. The computer is even fighting being turned off.

“Stupid technology!” And after messing for 20 minutes with this computer key combination and that hack that doesn’t work, making a never-answered call to your software’s support team, and discovering the app you need now won’t even load on your phone, you turn on the TV, open a book, or go to bed. “@#!*#”

Last week, having discovered that a podcast I was on had gone live a week early, which meant posting the last Conversation post I shared while handling two other deadlines and exploring several good ideas demanding equal time, I finally went to send a link to the aforementioned Spirit Moxie post to my podcast host. The link that had worked beautifully all day now read, “this website does not exist, perhaps you misspelled it” — or something to that effect. For. My. Entire. Website. A tweet to my web provider Bluehost, whom I’ve seen responding on Twitter, yielded crickets, as they say. (Just for the record, they are usually wonderfully reliable and supportive.)

And then I remembered.

One of my tenets is that while disasters might happen, overall the universe supports you, things work in your favor, and my electronic devices have my best interests at heart. Really! “Right, B,” you’re saying. “That makes no sense at all.” But bear with me and look at those incidents from another angle. My electronics may be saying I need sleep. Or maybe exercise, food, or a break. Or to think about something before I actually share it. Almost always when I respect that whatever just isn’t going to work right now, that same something is fine a few hours later, the next day, or after I do what my mind and body needs to refresh or rethink. Somehow deadlines are still met. Clients and friends are still happy.

Because the universe has a sense of humor, just as I finished writing this, my friend Lynne casually updated her operating system right before a major client deadline. After three days of patiently dealing with unresponsive support people at Adobe, she finally found someone who agreed that her InDesign files, which wouldn’t open, were not corrupt (and so were sent to the client) and that yes, perhaps she did need to update her computer, something she knew, but didn’t want to be reminded about quite so dramatically. Everyone’s response to things is different, and I’m not at all sure she will think her tech supports her. But it might.

The point of this Conversation is to remind you to breathe, to be present. Now. What unlikely (to you) things in your life do support you if you let them? I could list some, but I’d like to hear where your mind and experience takes you. So, share in the comments.

And, yes, I did go to bed. Right before I turned off the light I checked www.spiritmoxie.com on my phone. It was fine.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie. From the top:

Computer working on Being Heard
Error message
B’s phone

Being Heard

Posted on March 8, 2021 by Sally B.

I’ve shared Spirit Moxie on the radio and on television – albeit just locally. But a few days ago I was privileged to share information about Spirit Moxie internationally as part of an inspiring podcast originating in Scotland. The conversation encompassed smiling, sleep, and listening, all topics in Moxie Moves. Then, in the middle of the listening piece, where I talk about actually hearing people, my host asked matter of factly, “Tell us why it’s important to be heard.”

Say, what?

There are many gifts that come with living in the present, but one way it manifests for me is that I seldom consider how something benefits me. When the host asked this question, I knew it was lovely to be heard. Psychologically, it helps one process angst, trauma, and grief. Plus personally I find being understood — so certainly heard — seductive, although others think this is threatening. So it is an individual case.

However this wasn’t how I was processing the question. What I was hearing from the interviewer was, why does “my” being heard matter to the collective whole? How does it change the world?

After a few days of mulling this over, I decided that my response is two-fold. First being heard matters to us as individuals. Not only are there complex psychological benefits such as those mentioned above, but the stronger and happier we are individually the better we can interact and the more we personally can make a difference. Being heard validates us and even if we believe the “I’m not good enough” fear within us, being heard without being judged is affirming and liberating. It is the place of knowing we have an impact, where we know know things do matter.

The second reason that being heard matters is a bit more complex: just the act of your being heard actually matters and changes, in a good way, the world. “Who, me?” you ask. Yes! Remember that there is no one like you. You are completely unique. You are also part of the global community, a piece of the whole. Your voice is distinctively yours, and if it isn’t heard the world loses something. In our extreme desire for individuality, being heard confirms that, yes, we are individuals, but like it or not we are part of something a lot larger: a quilt, a map, an expansion of the collective unconscious or, more dramatically in my experience, what is called zeitgeist (time spirit).

So when you listen, hear others. And when you are heard, be grateful. That action is also changing the world.

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Logo for Fancy a Blether Listen to the podcast here!

Photos from the top:

Hand holding microphone — Mark Stucker
Globe — Sarah Margree

Care for Your Body

Posted on February 1, 2021 by Sally B.

Last Wednesday I fell. I tripped in the same place I tripped a little over a year ago when I fractured my arm. This time, the damage was just an impressive set of scrapes on my face, hands, and knee. Often, I joke that my dependence on pockets, rather than carrying a purse, is “small boy syndrome.” I now look like small boy syndrome personified.

The immediate learning from this fall was, “B, you weren’t being present. So, we’ll remind you how important presence is.” But as I’ve been healing, I’ve had another thought. Care of our bodies is as central as presence is to how we affect the world.”Take Care of Your Body” is on the original list of “100 things that can change the world” (the set of “What if everyone…” ideas placed on index cards that began Spirit Moxie). Oh, we’ve written about parts of physical self-care: brush your teeth; wash your hands, etc. And I added “Sleep” to the contents of our book Moxie Moves: 10 easy ways to make a powerful difference. A segment called “Love Your Body” is both online at SpiritMoxie.com and in the book, but what I’m talking about in this post is a whole different challenge, albeit related. Care as central has been missing.

What does “take care of your body” mean? How does that contribute to changing the world? The most obvious reason might simply be that in order to change the world, in order to do any of the little things we talk about as Spirit Moxie, it is easier when you feel well. How do you do any of these things when you are ill, when your body hurts, or when you just feel non-functional? Think about it. We manifest as bodies, despite all the ego’s emphasis on mind and spirit. Which means our bodies are our built in responsibility. In fact, they are more our responsibility than is our obligation to others. (For those of you who just cringed and started thinking about your responsibility for children, for partners, for parents, or to your job, remember that when we care for ourselves, our care of others and our ability to get things done becomes easier and more effective. Really.)

The challenge then becomes knowing how “care for your body” manifests itself. I can’t answer that one for you. The Conversations listed above are pretty universal, but, as someone who can obnoxiously see both sides of almost anything, I know universals are sometimes dangerous. If you are diabetic, care of your body probably involves monitoring your blood sugar. But if you aren’t, that probably isn’t even something you think about. We talk about exercise, but that shows up completely differently for different people. There is the person training for a competitive athletic event, my friend’s 5-days-a-week workout challenge, and my personal hope for warmer weather so I can walk more regularly. Right now, care for my body involves putting antibiotic ointment and some stuff that should help prevent scarring on my skin at least twice a day. Before last week, I was using only some lotion and sunscreen.

Is what you are doing actually “care”? Well, pay attention. Before you get up in the morning, do a mental scan and see how your body feels. Ask (yes, really) what it needs. For instance, food. Your diet and mine are probably very different. We hear of everything from raw food or vegan to I’ll eat anything, preferably in moderation. The real question is how does what you are eating make you feel? Tired or energized?

Have you had a medical checkup lately? Even more importantly, have you found health practitioners who pay attention to what you know about your body and who are committed to your living your best self? (Yes, there really are doctors and other practitioners like that.)

This Conversation is mainly questions. Or maybe just one question. How do you take care of your body? The first step is to pay attention. The second is to do the care, knowing it empowers your ability to change the world.

What’s on your list? Share. Do it.

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All images are by Spirit Moxie – from the top

Skinned knee
Care checklist (for fun)

Book link is a Spirit Moxie affiliate link

It’s a New Year – ReSet!

Posted on January 3, 2021 by Sally B.

“May you live in interesting times.” For a lot of people, this curse of ambiguity and possible danger encompassed by the word “interesting” has certainly applied to 2020. Maybe you were bored to tears. Or, perhaps you were called or forced to work exponentially harder in increasingly unsafe conditions. Maybe great things happened; yes, that was possible.

One of the exercises we did in Spirit Moxie’s recent ReSet for the New Year retreat was to name a bit of gratitude for 2020, while remembering that “liking” and “being grateful” are not synonyms. If gratitude has disappeared for you, here is a link to our original post “Give Thanks.” It is only from this place that we can truly reset for 2021.

Ah, but then what? Every year there seems to be a new trend. Claim a word. Dream (which was Spirit Moxie’s a few years ago). Or whatever. They all work. This year the trend seems to be something along the lines of “who do you want to become?” or “in what direction are you and what you are about headed?”

There’s still a disagreement about giving up resolutions. You know, those lists of things we said we “should” that usually were ignored or forgotten before the end of January? On a related note for several years I had excellent results listing goals—if excellence means that I wrote them out and then looked at them a couple of times a year to see if any actually happened. I seem to remember things like “submit poems for publication” and then going back to my list and thinking, “Oh, I did that!” (or didn’t as the case may be).

Being human, we are wedded to things and results. So, for 2021 I’m inviting you to a use a combination of the above New Year’s responses. First, name the things you would really love to have this year or the results of your endeavours you would like to see. Now look underneath. What experience or feeling would that thing or result give you?

During our ReSet retreat, people ended up going from “getting out of the house” to being useful, from cars to adventure. Many participants named wanting to feel zest and joy again. And so, we took the first steps into the possibility of the new year.

When I look at this for myself, one concrete “thing” I want is to be debt free. I can go with this to what seems obvious: feeling abundance. Except I actually already feel this. So, I need to follow that thread of feeling and being a bit further. In the end, to my surprise, I am experiencing a deep yearning for a huge expansion in the impact that’s possible for Spirit Moxie. In other words, it would mean many people actually getting that what they do, and do together, can change the world. Underneath that vision. I have simply a general feeling of expansiveness without completely understanding what that might mean. Do I know how to get there? No. But naming and recognizing this feeling is today’s first step.

So maybe I’m ending once again with a dream. Where does going underneath your wishes and desires take you? Name it. Take a step. Share.

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If you want more inspiration here are the links to previous New Year Conversations:

Dream (2016)
And a year begins… (2017) into 2018
Welcome to the New Year (2019)
2020 (2020) -Find beauty. Explore. Share. (almost the whole post)

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Graphics and photos (from the top):

2020-21 Happy New Year —Vecteezy.com
Stack of Journals — Spirit Moxie
Grassy path at Voice of America MetroPark (paths always symbolize steps for us) — Spirit Moxie

Vocabulary

Posted on November 4, 2020 by Sally B.

Weed = something that isn’t where it belongs. Remember, there are people who cultivate dandelions for their greens (and maybe the flowers for wine?).

This is a Spirit Moxie definition (in Moxie Moves: 10 ways to make a powerful difference) that got me thinking about the use of words in general. But what really hooked me on the importance of vocabulary was when I started realizing the power of verbs and adverbs. Who do we say we are? How do we say we are?

Lately, for many, what we are has been in a battle against “bored, scared, and lonely.” If one of your words is “depressed,” honor it. It could very well be real information that should be addressed, although how to approach it is beyond the scope of this Conversation piece.

“Overwhelmed” is also a particular favorite. I’m not saying that any of these descriptions isn’t true. It is just that they are so common in our current world climate that if you are not claiming these emotions people think there’s something wrong with you. If your surroundings say you should be afraid, the fact that you are calm and at ease can be seen as a ruse and viewed with incredulity. Even people who are usually sensitive and insightful have told me I must feel stress; they were confused when I said I didn’t.

There are more insidious words that I think most of us use every day that contribute to the above feeling, such as: “I have to,” “I need to,” and “I should.” I have to do something about that. I need to go there or do that. I should….

Try eliminating those words from your vocabulary and see the difference it makes in your attitude and reactions. It’s hard. You may find yourself arguing with yourself. But honestly, there really isn’t anything we have to do. Seriously. Oh, there may be consequences if we don’t pay the bills, feed the family, or, in our house, walk the dogs. Going to work, either physically or virtually, is expected. Taxes are due. I think you should vote, but what I think really doesn’t count. And so forth.

These are the should and need scenarios that fill our life. So, try changing them. What do you want to do? I wanted to vote. I don’t always want to walk the dogs, but I do want them to be happy and healthy. I do want to keep my promises and contribute to the household where I live.

For there is how we keep promises. I have written about keeping your word. Our calendars hold schedules, appointments, etc. But I suggest that freedom comes in planning to do these things. And then seeing what happens. The perfect examples were the two airline tickets I had booked for trips in February and March 2020, both cancelled as COVID-19 spread through the world. Oh, you say, that’s different. But is it? What I had was a plan which is different from the event or thing itself. Now I have credit on Delta Airlines which I hope to use, but right now have no concrete plans to do so.

There is however one use of the word “should” I share all the time. So much for being consistent! It is one of my playing with time mantras. If I’m just being present (or just being), how do I get anything done? So often I ask, “What should I be doing now?” There’s that word “should.” But this is more of a check in with my mind and body. To what activity am I, as they say, leaning in? What, apparently, I should be doing now is typing, composing this Conversation. There’s a clue since I am doing it. It helps because I want to be doing it. So, it is a loose “should.” And sometimes I don’t do the “should” that answers that statement. (It really is comfortable on that couch.) Often, I’m already doing whatever. But at other times, it can be a nudge. “To where or to what am I being nudged” is a bit awkward, but can serve as a translation for “What should I be doing?” A nudge is much more inviting, less demanding.

A couple of days ago, I was asked to make sure someone was awake at a certain time. I had about two hours until then and wanted to run an errand. When sending a text letting them know, I found myself wordsmithing since, as someone who plays with time, I found myself unwilling to be definite about schedules. (Freeing, really, but that’s a different post.): “I’ll be back by…” – no. How could I really know that? The words I used were “I plan to be back by….” which were true. I did plan to be. And was.

So, I suggest you play with how you talk about your actions and see if those actions then feel more or less freeing. How does how you define things affect the bored, scared, and lonely parts of your day?

What changes when actions are not something you have to do or must do or, gasp, should do? Or even need to do. Rather what happens when they are things you want to do, plan to do, or are feeling a bit of a nudge towards doing?

And no. You don’t have to do any of this.

Thoughts? Your experience?

Book link for Moxie Moves is a Spirit Moxie Amazon affiliate link, which only means we get a couple of cents from them if you buy something!

Photos from the top:

Dandelion — Anders Sandberg
Dog walk — Spirit Moxie
Airport Sunrise — Amy Marsh

So, what do we do?

Posted on October 7, 2020 by Sally B.

So, what do we do?

In the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic (late 2020), people seem to be spending most of their time stressing out about the world’s—and their neighbor’s—response to the disease, feeling despair and depression at being socially isolated, and lamenting the current political situation. Is this you? Any of it?

There’s something about complaining that scratches the itch, so to speak. We’re told not to complain, but I know that often when I complain about something, for instance that I can’t find something, it often shows up, usually where I’d just looked.

What bothers me about how we share our stress regarding the world right now is that all this energy, and yes it is energy, feeds negativity. Complaints about the world don’t resolve the same way they do when I lose something. These complaints actually expand the very negativity that is the basis for the lament. Sharing the stress doesn’t end with despair; it is fed by the despair. So, the brilliant put-down, the sharing of heartfelt hopelessness and emptiness, the latest study on how our Internet and other interactions are harmful feed this fear and induce and increase the depression.

How?

Isolation and physical distance have all become justifications for inaction. The extent of this inaction, which has become fairly pervasive, is so unfamiliar that it is perceived as threatening and, so, manifest as fear. Added to the inaction are the fear of death (from the disease) and helplessness. Remember, inaction (freezing) and fleeing (how many of you in the United States are considering moving elsewhere?) are responses to fear. Other fear responses are fainting (avoidance) and fighting, which looks like action for those of you with political leanings, but also shows up as people ignoring distancing guidelines and political realities or reading every news article, whether verified or not.

What you focus on expands. That may be a truism, but notice how much power we give away in all the above actions. There’s got to be another choice between doing too much and not doing anything at all.

Where are the things we can do that might, just might, be positive? Instead of fighting, what might heal and build? What might seed positivity?

Spirit Moxie on Facebook Remember when you discovered Spirit Moxie? I am assuming you at least liked the Facebook page. In case you didn’t get this Conversation post in your email, I’m adding a link to sign up so you won’t miss the next one! Remember that little nod when you admitted that you wanted the world to be slightly better? When there was a glimmer and a smile at the suggestion that maybe, just maybe, our small actions could morph into energy that could change the world? (Refresher course 101 on this idea if you don’t quite understand this – opening piece at www.spiritmoxie.com.)

Even in isolation, the world is still here. We still have family and friends and dreams. We can still change the world. Really. But if the accepted default is that of inaction, if we always do what we’ve always done, we will indeed keep getting what we have.

So, play with this. Literally. What can you do that’s new? What can you learn? The other day I figured out a new pattern for making my bed. Really. I’m still excited. Just the energy of claiming something new or different changes things around me. Acknowledge that you are “doing:”

Smile – even when wearing a mask. A smile shows in your eyes!

Reach out to others. Have you figured out how to connect via electronics? Have you walked someone else through how to connect?

What have you created? Art. An idea. A recipe. A new way to do what?

Have you shared your visions and your dreams?

Did you try?

Have you turned off your news feed or at least limited it? Trust me, you’ll learn what you need to learn. How can you stop giving violent and negative actions power while still holding those responsible accountable? Yes, the whole point is that what you do matters.

You have an answer to at least some of this. I’m guessing you, personally, are not called to curing this disease or running for public office. But small answers really can morph into a positive whole, even when that makes no sense at all. So, try a new form of pickles. Or whatever. Tiny little things still hold us together and whirl us into the future of our dreams.

And share. Share in the comments. On social media. In, gasp, conversation. Remember: “little things we do together.” There’s work to do if we dare.

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Images from the top:

Sidewalk challenge — Spirit Moxie
Website banner — www.spritmoxie.com
From Spirit Moxie Facebook banner — Michael Phillips

Wear a Mask

Posted on August 19, 2020 by Sally B.

Who knew that some “little things that can change the world” could actually descend upon us, rather than just arise from thoughtful conversations over coffee or wine, or during discussions about Spirit Moxie—(you know someone asks, “What’s Spirit Moxie?” You answer, “Well, you know those things that if only everyone did them the world would be a better place? How would you answer that?” Long pause and then wisdom. Always.)

Masks for sale But, with the COVID-19 guidelines, washing your hands, which we wrote about years ago, and wearing a mask covering your nose and mouth in public have become generally accepted as two things we can do to slow the spread of the disease. There’s also socially distancing and self-imposed (as well as officially imposed) quarantine. We’re also told to not touch our faces or eyes. (And how’s that going for you?) Overall, wearing masks and hand washing are the two actions I have heard about the most.

We can’t really monitor the hand washing of anyone but ourselves, except by hearsay. So, when we talk with friends, we focus on masks. “I went to the grocery store and no one was wearing a mask.” “Don’t people know they have to cover their noses with the masks.”

Some people are apparently threatened by the request, if not the requirement, to wear a mask. And to some degree I understand. When I was seriously sick a few years ago, my immune system was destroyed and I was given a box of masks by the hospital and instructions to wear one in public. The idea made me feel like a laughingstock. So when I went to the doctor for a checkup I had one with me, but kept making up excuses (e.g., “no one is standing close to me”) not to put it on. While I’m pretty sure not wearing that mask isn’t why I ended up back in the hospital, I remember my reaction and have tried to be sympathetic when I’ve watched people wearing them. For example many people in Bangkok wear masks because of the air pollution. But I wasn’t going to wear one while in Bangkok. Masks looked presumptuous. And a bit silly. So I understand the threat to image or convenience that some people may be feeling as a reaction to wearing masks.

With COVID-19, for the first few weeks I managed avoid putting on a mask, supporting my decision with information questioning their usefulness. Remember, mask wearing wasn’t a mandate initially. But then a friend of a friend mailed to our house masks she had made for us. Now I had one that was cool! Plus, I finally read enough from experts who agreed that everyone should wear one.

In many places, it’s now illegal to not wear a mask in public, at least indoors.

So, wear a mask. The science and official health guidelines are clear. If we all wore a masks, we could stop the spread of this disease.

Pee meme for facemasks However mask wearing still seems to be a big deal, or perhaps no deal, for some. The guys at the car repair lot didn’t even pretend to wear them. There’s always someone who doesn’t have theirs on correctly. (Yes, the mask has to cover your nose as well as your mouth. Think about it.) There is still, or so I hear, outrage at the idea of wearing a mask from those who want to think the pandemic is a myth. And the overheard statement, “Why do you care if I wear a mask if you’re wearing one?”

For me wearing a mask to slow the spread of COVID-19 is the simplest and clearest way of showing how a small action affects us all. Lately, I have been reading daily descriptions from my friend Tiffany Hollums who had a fairly severe case of COVID-19 and still has terrible symptoms. To protect her husband, who had just had major surgery and was at high risk, and her immune compromised daughter, she checked into a hotel (courtesy of family and friends) to quarantine after three close contacts tested positive. After about 12 days, she began having trouble breathing with additional symptoms manifesting every day. It took 25 days before she was deemed not infectious. There had been no new symptoms for three days (the current definition of “cured”) and Tiffany could finally go home. (The other guideline is ten days after your first symptoms – whichever is longer.) But on Day 40, this is what she was experiencing: “brain fog, fatigue, high heart rate (tachycardia), nosebleeds, chest pain (painful to the touch), profuse sweating if I get tired, weird dizzy bouts where my ears seem to ring, breathing issues, purplish eyelids and blister-like things on my eyelids.” These are her words, from the battlefield so to speak, “I think the more time I get away from being really ill, the most challenging thing is reading what others say about coronavirus. People still say it’s a ‘hoax’ or ‘just like the flu’ but that’s not what my body knows. And I vacillate between frustration, disbelief, and genuine concern that these people will get sick and know in real life technicolor that this virus is real and doesn’t care if they don’t believe it. I don’t want anyone to experience that or to say something that causes others to be less careful and experience this virus. Not to mention the lasting effects—which worries me greatly for others.“

You don’t want this virus for yourself or others.

Wearing mask at grocery store Remember, the way to change the world is not to complain about those not wearing a mask. Change and, in this case, health, comes through our positive actions (see our last Conversation “Conundrum”). Wear your mask. Play with what it looks like if you wish. Here, people are wearing bandanas or masks printed with political and social statements. They are experimenting with different fabrics and sport the most high tech ones or the simplest masks they can find. There are shields on children (apparently these aren’t as effective, but still help). And, yes, socially distanced folk take their masks off to eat and drink.

A little thing that can change the world. Easy. Post a picture of you wearing yours!

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Images from the top:

Masks for sale — Spirit Moxie
Urine Test Meme — Source Unknown
Facetime shot-connecting in quarantine-“[My daughter] proudly showing me her Animal crossing world she created with her daddy!” — Tiffany Hollums
B at Grocery Store — Harry Spirito

Conundrum

Posted on July 20, 2020 by Sally B.

“What you focus on expands.” This concept shows up in online business and personal growth courses, the teachings of Abraham Hicks as written by Esther Hicks, the current behaviors manifested in the political scene, and the rants of some of my friends. There are extensions to this idea. The statement that practicing gratitude creates happiness and success is one. Basics on the craze for learning about manifestation through such coaches as Mike and Andy Dooley are another.. Even the sexist and, for me, exhausting, 1937 work of Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich reflects this basic idea.

While I’m writing this we are experiencing a worldwide pandemic, with people ignoring that a virus is rampant by dismissing simple, if inconvenient, guidelines for keeping it from spreading. George Floyd was massacred in Minneapolis triggering a global confrontation with racism, both systemic and individual. Reactions to both events are being fed by history, politics, and newsfeeds.

Both also illustrate another truism (although I may have made this one up). “What you ignore festers.” In the United States our political leaders have encouraged – and ignored – acts of violence and white supremacy. As a result those who act this way have become more and more visible. Many people, including some political leaders, also ignore health guidelines and the impact COVID-19 is having on our healthcare infrastructure. The news, Facebook feeds, and, often, private conversations focus on inflammatory statements and the apparently ill considered behaviors of others giving these statements and actions increasing power. Each response is defended by “needing to know what’s going on” as well as, apparently, a need to be superior and clever. Note that these responses are focuses. Both the news and the cleverness add to the focus on the situation. And the energy from this attention encourages and fosters additional actions. In the pandemic, we have been encouraged to ignore the situation while others share how it is spreading, are given conflicting information about how the virus spreads, react inconsistently to which measures might be effective, and commiserate as to how unfair and difficult social distancing and quarantine is. There is also reassurance that the danger of the virus and the political implications of racial tension are exaggerated.

So more anger and violence. More illness and disease.

Yet what you ignore festers. Every time we don’t social distance COVID spreads. Pockets of white supremacy and the realities of unaddressed racism explode when given permission in our current political climate.

How do you address (i.e. not ignore) issues by not focusing on them? Absolutely one should name them – that is the not allowing to fester part. But the secret is to give more power or focus to the actions and stories that lift up and empower what you want to happen. The challenge is finding the positive focus. An easy example is Spirit Moxie’s continual emphasis on voting as a response to laws, government, and politics. It is police officers handing out masks at a recent demonstration. It is my friend Karen’s careful distancing measures at a family gathering celebrating her grandson’s fifth birthday where a great time was had by all. It’s my noticing all the people wearing masks vs my friends, visiting the same stores, saying no one was. (I saw only one person with no mask. Really.)

What do you see and notice that you can celebrate as positive and encourage? Delight in discovering Zoomers (i.e., people born after 1996) can be proactive. People practicing social distancing when you take a walk. Realizing it really is fun to cook from scratch – and tastes better. Watching and supporting an organization revising its DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) vision and guidelines. More fireflies and butterflies. Clearer skies. Do you celebrate the heroes in your midst? Are you grateful for honesty and clarity? Are you practicing gratitude period? Can you listen with love and really hear what someone is saying? What are your positive actions in this time?

Share! We need that focus to expand!

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Photos from the top:

You become… — cartoon by Andy Dooley
Pile of masks — Spirit Moxie
Imagine Banner at Salesforce Tower, WeWork. San Francisco, CA — Spirit Moxie

Note: all Amazon links are Spirit Moxie’s, which means we get a couple cents if you buy the book (or whatever), but that doesn’t affect the price you pay.

Plant

Posted on April 21, 2020 by Sally B.

Sometimes something is so obvious, you never notice it. This conversation began when a penny dropped for me, as they say, while a friend told me his neighbors had cut down the trees in their yard at the same time he was trying to make his own yard more friendly to birds, bees, and butterflies. It was a reminder that whether through greed, ignorance, or just plain habit, we seem to be increasingly hard on our physical world.

It was also a reminder that we can also respond positively to what is going on in our physical world. I’m writing during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic. We’ve been sheltering in place and practicing social distancing, but at the same time, we’re hearing stories of dolphins being sighted in the canals of Venice (apparently, according to Snopes, true, but not necessarily completely unusual) and reading reports of pollution levels dropping so much that the Himalayas are now visible in India. All of these stories and conversations have made at least some of us more aware of the effect humans have on the environment.

As my friend has modeled, one response to our environment is rather simple, really. One way to change the world, the physical world and not just the people in it, is to plant things. Anything. Plants help purify the air and produce oxygen; provide food; and modify temperatures. Plants are not only components of medicine (you did know that most medicine is plant based?), they actually promote health and healing just by being visible, by our looking at them. It has been shown that people who can see growing things, even pictures of growing things, have less stress and so heal faster and are healthier than those who don’t.

I hear more and more of my friends talking about feeling renewed through gardening. Even now, when the situation we are living with limits us to varying degrees, these gardeners are poring over seed catalogs, raising seedlings, and even looking forward to weeding. Apparently such actions can have a calming effect.

Oh, you say, that’s all very well. But I have physical limitations. Plus, you’re living where there’s a yard and I’m not. Plus, the friends you talk about have the resources to buy plants. Gardening can be expensive. So, this is easy for you.

Perhaps. But let’s take this move “Plant,” one step at a time. One small change-the-world-action at a time.

A major piece might involve planting trees. Last week the people I’m living with planted a new weeping cherry tree. They even paid nursery workers to come to the yard, dig the hole, and actually plant the tree. In non-social distancing times, I’ve been given tree seedlings on Earth Day (April 22nd). Another friend found information on the number of trees we might plant to replenish the atmosphere. This article from The Guardian offers a tree planting plan that eliminates the effect of about 2/3rds of our current emissions. Maybe we can’t plant that many trees individually, but the article does confirms that tree planting is a positive action!

But planting trees might be a bit extreme. What about other outside plantings, for example my friend’s invitation to butterflies, the tomatoes we used to grow on the deck, the vegetable garden with flowers around the edges at another friend’s house? What might work for you? Vegetables? Flowers? Reseeding the bare places on the lawn? Perhaps, when we’re no longer isolated, you could become part of a community garden that not only provides fresh food, but promotes community and reclaims land. Or can you put a window box on your apartment’s balcony to share the pleasure of greenery with those passing below?

Then there are plantings inside aka houseplants. Do you have any? (Some people claim no green thumb. One friend even tells of killing an artificial fern!) Any plant counts, for example the cactus I was given by a lover when I was on a business trip. (True story. He wanted to give me a plant rather than flowers.) The ubiquitous African violets and spider plants. Some herbs on the window sill.

Yes, some plants are dangerous to pets. Others may or may not affect air quality. But all plants contribute to our appreciation of and the importance of regularly seeing growing things. If you think you have no access to plants, consider experiments like the getting an avocado seed to sprout and grow. You put 3 toothpicks in it and suspend it in a glass of water and wait. A cheap version of that gift amaryllis which occasionally develops a life of its own. One friend has an amaryllis that has grown and bloomed for the last 24 years—lasting longer than her marriage or any of her pets. Other friends might have cuttings from philodendron that needed trimming – another plant that can begin its new life in a glass of water as it grows roots. Plus there are multiple kits, simple and complex, for herbs and vegetables that can grow inside.

So notice. Act. Look at the plants around you. Plant something. Change the world.

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Photo credits from the top:
Lettuce seedlings — Kate Cook
Gardeners — Jeff Dey
Tree planting — Spirit Moxie
The cactus 12 years later — Spirit Moxie
The amaryllis — Teich Technical and Marketing Communications

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