Delight

Ibis grazing Maybe “slowly” is better — but “slow” feels right. But why is this something to make a difference or change the world?

Let’s start with an example. This morning I planned an early breakfast at a place I’ve been wanting to revisit to be followed by a couple of errands and some library time before I headed off for some fairly close together scheduled appointments. But this morning was slow. A bit more time in bed. A leisurely shower. Packing my computer and a couple of other things I needed for the first appointment. Deciding what to wear wasn’t simple today so I kept changing my mind. Plus, the library didn’t open until noon, and I planned on walking to breakfast. So, by being slow – and leisurely – I thoroughly enjoyed breakfast. I did a banking errand that wouldn’t have worked a couple of hours earlier. And I got to the library at 12:10. Was any of this world changing? One never knows what changes the world because usually that’s a cumulative and subtle thing (unless of course it isn’t, but that’s another conversation). But this pattern I fell into certainly made the beginning of my day easier, more enjoyable, and a bit curiosity provoking as I wander to what’s next.

Being slow actually allows you to see and delight in things. The world can certainly use more delight!

Ah, but in today’s fast paced world, is this even feasible? On a practical level, how does “going slow” affect things? The anomaly is that often it seems to make things happen faster. The slow consideration of a problem usually results in a simple and quick solution or the realization that there isn’t really a problem at all. It’s forgetting a meeting that was cancelled without your being told. Coming late to a party that is just starting. (You’ve done that, right?) Handing in a report no one had time to read before. Sometimes we don’t know exactly why it worked. Sometimes the few more minutes caught the mistake that would have otherwise ruined the outcome.

Outdoor labyrinth If you still feel you must hurry, go ahead. Recently, I was helping host a public labyrinth walk happening in a private space. One woman sat very still, took a long moment to begin her walk, and then moved so quickly through the labyrinth it was hard to see if she actually followed the design. In the middle she sat quietly for a long time. And them moved so quickly out that my companion asked me if she’d just headed for the exit. (No, she again “walked.”) Certainly I don’t know her story. But the slow, even motionless, part of her “walk” was clearly central. The hurry just allowed her to get to the places where, for her, “slow” was essential.

What’s your pattern? When you have too much to do or, perhaps, don’t know what to do, go slow. Stop for a moment to notice your breathe. Sit. Then move at whatever pace feels right. There will be enough time.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie

From the top:
White Ibis grazing on a slow walk in Florida
The labyrinth at the Cincinnati, OH, waterfront

Be grateful.

We repeatedly run into references, share links and memes, and seek out the statistics around the benefits of being thankful. Gratitude changes how we experience the world, promotes happiness, and increases effectiveness. And that’s just for starters, so they say.

Recently I’ve been thinking about an advanced form of gratitude, with no statistics and no predictability such as you get with my usual suggested exercise of listing five things you are grateful for. We’ve practiced those, or at least been told we should practice them. However, as I’ve been “doing my gratitude practice,” which sounds almost boring as a mandate (although it really isn’t when one does it), I’ve realized the words “thanks” and “grateful” are limiting in day to day experiences.

There is another dimension, an expansion if you will. I am grateful for rain. We “need” it. I won’t have to water our new forsythias. In some parts of the country, people are simply thankful that water flows into reservoirs and streams or that the forest has an extra layer of dampness. But is “grateful” the right word for our feeling of thanks for how a Spring rain smells? Or how raindrops sound on the roof? The distinction I’m now making is that while I may be grateful I can hear and smell the rain, when I actually notice the sound and smell of rain I’m really experiencing delight. Loving the smell. Enjoying the sound.

By paying attention, you can begin to play with delight as a distinction. As you notice what is happening on top of, so to speak, your gratitude, you can actually claim delight. Try this as an extended practice of noticing or as a component of being present. What are the elements of something you like that take you beyond just being thankful for whatever it is in itself?

Once you start playing with the word delight, you will find that sometimes an experience of it will just appear. You are just walking along or cruising the internet or cooking dinner. Suddenly you feel a lightness in your heart or you smile in unexpected happiness. This delight catches you off guard. This is the delight you can’t scientifically look for as a verbal distinction as we did in the above paragraph. Why did I feel delight when I noticed my housemate’s artist aprons hanging on the door? They suddenly just brought joy. Or walking by a neighbor’s yard and seeing her planter on a tree. Was it inviting summer? And mushrooms? There they were! And the feeling wasn’t there when I found some others to photograph as an image for this post. (Later I did find one of the original ones and that is the picture I am using.) Or cruising Facebook and learning that a baby platypus is sometimes called a puggle, a word to delight in all by itself, even if a bit of research gives “puggle” some other uses and platypus babies some other names.

As you continue to notice, you might discover delight can go deeper. On one of my first Uber rides in over a year, my driver took a small morsel of food out and explained it was the right time to break his fast for Ramadan. This was unexpected and I felt honored to be a witness, to be included in this multi-cultural world. In one action my world expanded. And I was delighted.

In the past few months I’ve heard many people say that they seek joy. One way to claim joy is to be open to it showing up (it really is that simple). Since I’ve started this distinction about delight, I’ve been pleasantly caught off guard. For me, a component of delight is joy. And it goes both ways. Feeling joy is one way I recognized delight and so name it.

A lightness of heart. Being suddenly brought to a standstill. A smile. What “symptoms” do you associate with delight? Think about it. Where did you last find delight? Was it unexpected? Recognizing and claiming delight is one of the unsung features of being present, calm, and productive.

I’d love to know how you experience delight. For me, right now, just exploring how we encounter it is well, a delight!

Join me.

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All photos by Spirit Moxie. From the top:

Basket on neighbor’s tree
Artist aprons on door
Unexpected mushroom

Spirit Moxie

Little Things That Can Change the World

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Go Slow