As a topic, the importance of focus has cost me nine months of writing (I started this in June 2025!) and at least one friend (which I won’t amplify with an explanation). I’ve become entangled in politics when my main idea has always been the importance of focus for us as individuals. I think this is a third draft. Let’s see where the conversation on focus leads us today.

The impetus for this post, and a source of frustration since I like the guy, is a good friend’s insistence that the world sucks, his life sucks, and, unless (and I’m betting not even then) he gets a sudden influx of cash, it will always suck. Looking on I can see multiple ways this isn’t true, but for him, there are people who have let him down, jobs that don’t pay enough, no love life, health issues, a very old car, and a house needing pricey repairs. That things aren’t going and won’t go well in the future is a daily mantra. There seems a certainty in this focus that shuts out any possible change, growth, or joy. I know other in people similar situations who focus on the positive things that happen. It probably does not surprise you that more positive things appear for them as a result.

When it looks as if things aren’t 100% going your way, there are three concepts that help transform those things:

The first is curiosity. If you live as if the world is on your side, what is unfolding? There’s a word for this. Pronoia. The opposite of paranoia. The curiosity comes from assuming this as real and seeing how it’s true.

The second is expectation. Where is that next positive thing for you. How is it manifesting? Related to pronoia, this is more a place of waiting than action. If this idea seems a bit untenable, it might be useful to keep a list of the things that do show up for you whether it’s an unexpected conversation or a financial windfall.

And the third is simply clarity. Without limits, what do you really want to have or have happen? (But here’s a warning. I’ve learned the Universe has a sense of humor. What actually happens might not look exactly as you envisioned it. But you’ll realize when it shows up that it fits right now.) This was shared beautifully on Facebook by the performance coach Thommy Sandvick. “You get what you focus on. For years, I focused on what I didn’t want — and I kept recreating it. The moment I got clear on what I did want — and started making decisions from that place — everything changed.”

Ah, clarity. Often knowing what you don’t want feels clearer. Does what you don’t want have an opposite? What would things be like if what you didn’t want was absent? Extensive focus on what is wrong or what you don’t want usually either strangles possibility or creates walls. Plus that negative focus almost guarantees that you’ll have more of what you don’t want. Note that obsessing about what you do want also strangles. Obsession emphasizes its absence.

Presence and curiosity (those words again) combined with positive action — even if that action is only baby steps — allows the positive in. What positive thought (yes thoughts have power) or action, even one so small you think it couldn’t make a difference, wants to happen?

When you focus (without obsession) on what you want, on the positive, you start seeing how something might be true. You see things and to your amazement things change. It can happen quickly, but even if it takes time, you are comfortable waiting.

So, what’s your focus? Are you getting in the way of what you would like to have happen, or are you finding joy in what is emerging?

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All photos by Spirit Moxie

Rocks! — Waimanalo Beach, Hawaii
Yes Sign — Portland, OR
Butterfly (poster?) — Cincinnati 2018