To be is an incredible minute by minute way to live and I started a conversation post to share it with you. But last week I ran flat into its opposite.The space where nothing seems right. I’ll bet you know that place too! Suddenly I was where nothing I do is clear, no one understands the power and importance of Spirit Moxie, the book that I think I want to publish isn’t useful, and I am probably fat and ugly to boot. Nope. Not a place to “just be.” 

Oh, I’ve been working on all of the “be” pieces for over a year now so I knew this wasn’t true. But even with breathing and intellectual appreciation, old habits stopped by. Self-indulgence. Self-doubt. Feeling vulnerable…

I’ve been writing a book to explain Spirit Moxie. No, I have written a book to explain Spirit Moxie. And FYI, the book’s working title is Mattering. A book to encourage anyone who thinks that what they do doesn’t matter. And to support those (like you) that know their day to day actions do matter, but still welcome encouragement and challenge. It’s been read by a friend in Maine. It needs serious editing. And a title.

So last week I met with my friend Linda for a brainstorming session to begin the process of naming the book. (You met Linda in “Moxie and Miracles” as the librarian who only appears to me at work when I need her. ) After a great hour or so we came up with:

1) Make a Difference: merely matter
2) Merely Matter: a simple guide for your every day

We liked the alliteration of “merely” with“matter” and how “merely” implies how easy and basic making a difference can be.

The next day I shared these options in three different places on Facebook: 1) the Spirit Moxie page; 2) my personal feed; 3) a private group for creatives curated by the incomparable Samantha Bennett and The Organized Artist Company. There were three very different responses.

On the Spirit Moxie page, people mainly just voted (mostly for #2) or made alternative suggestions such as Mattering: a guide for your every day, Matter, and What Matters? 

On my personal page there was an intense discussion of the word “merely,” which was seen as implying “minor” and “unimportant” to one respondent. Which then promoted a debate that “minor and unimportant” was, perhaps, the point and for another prompted the poem shared towards the end of this conversation.

But the most revealing conversation was in the private group where it was very clear that despite my explanations not only didn’t the title work at all for someone who hadn’t heard about the vision of Spirit Moxie, but that the idea of mattering wasn’t obvious and by implication a book wouldn’t have an audience if it had that focus much less benefit by having the word in the title. OK. So I’m exaggerating.  Slightly. While humbled by the scope and intensity of the answers and versed enough in criticism and “being” to appreciate the input, I was, being merely human, and shall we say “disheartened.”

My internal dialog went something like, “No one really wants the insights of Spirit Moxie. And while people say that helping people see how they make a difference is exciting, in print it’s confusing and useless. This will never work. There’s no way to respond. Etc.”

Does any of this sound familiar? So I went to bed. As soon as I lay down my mind said, “You need to write about this. The heck with a gentle post about the day by day – this is about ‘angst’ and people need to know this happens.” Somehow I didn’t jump up and start writing. Sleep. “Sleep” is actually one of the topics in “the” book as one of the things that changes the world and perhaps I should practice what I, as they say, preach. Finally I slept.    

So what is the point of this? Even being in the day to day, angst, despair, whatever will creep in. But breathe. Like it all. For anything appearing this way is just information. Yes, despite all of the above, all I’ve been told is that I/we need a title. And we know that.

Where does angst creep in for you? Is it simply information?

And then there’s the word “merely” which prompted this response from Spirit Moxie follower Brian Johnson:

‘Merely’ a snowflake helped move tons of snow,
     fed rivers with life,
helped seasons come and go.

‘Merely’ a smile, a hug, a kiss, a hand to hold…
     brought hope to the paining,
the lost lonely souls.

‘Merely’ a step closer, to extend a loving hand,
     bring back and heal family, universally
distributed throughout the lands.

Help overcome darkness by bringing the light,
     of selflessness, caring, sharing
and ‘mere’ might. ♡

So in summary: The above title suggestions don’t grab a lot of people. The reason for the book is that people are confused about the need and importance for claiming their every day actions. Most people like the name “Spirit Moxie.”  As I wandered through this I came up with one more suggestion:

Moxie Moves: 10 ways to change the world or 10 ways to make a difference.

But I/we need your suggestions. That’s how little things work  So leave a message here,  call me for a drink or a walk, or rant in an email. For the whole Spirit Moxie premise is that we can only do this together.

________________________________

Image credits from the top:

Brainstorming session — Spirit Moxie
Logo for Tango with Time created through Organized Artist Company connections
by Jazlyn James during the above “angst”
Bed — David A. Lynch
Helen Keller quote in Main Library of Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County —
Spirit Moxie

Many of you are either not on Facebook or are on Facebook and never see the pictures and other resources posted there. Here are three very different items that were on the Spirit Moxie Facebook page which you may have missed. Enjoy!

Banner found in my local library posted as a preview to the Use Libraries post.

___________________________

This provocative poem was written by the teenage daughter of a friend:

I want to paint a picture
using my whole set of paint.

________________________

Photos by Spirit Moxie — from the top:
Banner in the Main Branch of the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County
At the Park Hyatt Beaver Creek Resort, Vail, Colorado (we think – corrections welcome)

So how do you enter a new year when you’ve spent the last one going minute to minute, have largely ignored the implications of passing time, and haven’t read most of the current “get ready for 2018” offerings? And you still feel compelled to write a Spirit Moxie conversation post for the New Year?

2017 was underscored by my doctor’s admonition, “You were life threateningly sick, you know.” Well, OK. I believe him. But it didn’t feel like that. It was a year of, well, a year of seeing how things unfolded. So if I need a word to describe 2017, it’s that: “unfolding.” It unfolded from possible financial irresponsibility to relative stability. It went from my worst health crisis to official good health. (I’ve actually been released by my oncologist.) And it has cemented into a minute by minute world that, when I follow that moment to moment path, all kinds of interesting things appear. A chance to be on the radio. A new Facebook page, Tango with Time, that allows me to share how I now experience time and how you can experience it too. My first tries at Facebook Live.(You can find  them here.)

In the beginning of 2016, I wrote the post Dream. In it I said I wanted “ongoing support and unexpected adventures,” two things that have shown up in spades, as they say, for the past two years. In 2017, the results were random and certainly unexpected adventures, such as an unplanned bucket list of events that weren’t on my radar at all until they happened and, I could say, “Oh! That was something I’ve never done and now know I wanted to.” Flown a kite. Ordered room service. Gone to major events completely off my radar such as the Indianapolis  500 and Byron Katie’s School for the Work. (Bet those two have never been claimed in the same sentence before!) And the aforementioned radio appearance.

I have learned since the last time I wrote something for the New Year at the beginning of 2016 the following:

Dreams work. I still dream of adventures and of challenging and connecting with you. But I’ve learned that what is behind the dreams is more important than their concrete manifestation. So, while I want to offer hope and support, that has certainly not shown up as planned.

Love works. And by being open to it, love will materialize in unexpected relationships, a reshuffling of friendships (no, not losing them, just rearranging), and new interests (I’m suddenly being introduced to everything I missed by being fairly sheltered in the late 60s early 70s— think music groups). Love can also, simply, result in just being more present. Love can show up in words, possibilities, and unexpected hope.

But be warned. When you claim, “just being,” as your mantra, nothing will show up as you thought it would, especially concrete plans. That being said, one plan for 2018 is to finally publish a book introducing the basics of Spirit Moxie. It’s being read by a friend as I type this. But will it become an actual offering? I don’t really know. All I know is for certain is now, and now I’m writing this post.

I’ve also learned that the more you don’t get out of your own way, the harder things are. What does this mean? Some examples are clinging to plans that don’t serve you or panicking when something doesn’t go the way you thought it should.

So rather than “what are your dreams for 2018,” although dreams are fun and useful, my question is what will you let float out of your way for 2018? It’s OK to give them a gentle push. The idea that you’re not good enough for something? That the world is dark? Exactly how your equivalent of a book will manifest itself? That you need to know, all the time, where the funds for whatever are coming from? Where you will encounter love? These are just some examples. What are your dreams and what might be the presuppositions that are in the way?

Can you take these questions of what you want and how they are and, metaphorically, pat them on the head, and ask, what do I see right now? It’s all good if we’re looking with the right eyes. And the form they’re meant to have will show up along the way….

Happy New Year!

_________________________

Images for the new year – from the top:

Double rainbow over Hawkes Bay, Napier, New Zealand – Spirit Moxie

at Grace Cathedral, San Francisco – Prajak Sophondirekrat

Moon in branches – Spirit Moxie
Mooring with no attachments – Spirit Moxie

Increasingly, I’m confused. When friends get together, the main points of discussion seem to focus on illness, relationship break ups, horrible things that happen in the grocery store, lack of hope for world peace, political craziness, or the completely strange behavior of children or parents.

I get tired when I scan Facebook, overhear conversations on the street, or read just about anything. “There’s nothing we can do!” is repeated as if it were obvious and reassuring. It’s a terrible world! Let’s live in it together. In other words, most talk seems to be about hopelessness that only we and our friends understand, ad nauseam.

In fact, the other day, a friend shared this quotation: “A fundamental sign of mental health is one’s realization that life is hard.”— Scott Peck.

I answered this, being me, with, “That’s a depressing quote.” To which someone replied, “But life is hard…” I left the conversation at this point, but have to ask isn’t “hard” a decision? An interpretation? If “life is hard,” what is the opposite? “Easy?” Then what is an “easy” life? Does it mean never having to/choosing to do anything? Most of Scott Peck’s quotations are simply challenging, such as “We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them.” But I digress.

From the stage, a speaker “earns the right” to share with their audience through telling them about the bankruptcy, accident, or divorce. In a group we scorn the word “perfect,” which, if you’ve been following these conversations, you know I actually like (Perfect). In fact, we would rather wallow in our imperfections. Maybe we also wallow in assuming things are hard because it precludes action. It implies that addressing issues is ultimately useless.  Family drama is the norm. Many (most?) churches focus on sin and the sinful rather than on joy and redemption.

Of course, when we meet each other, it’s “How are you?” “Fine. You?” “Fine.” Although “fine” isn’t true most of the time. In the case of “fine” as a false response, in addition to our really not being fine (whatever that means), we’re lying to our bodies, our minds, and those we meet, which is another post for another time. Did I say I was confused? It’s not that I’m doubting that any of the above is true. I don’t know anyone happy with our current politics. I’m sure your mother’s behavior is incredibly frustrating.

But what would happen if we just said “hi” on the street and leave it at that —unless we knew the person we met and really wanted to know how they were? Or answered the question of “how are you?” as a friend of mine does. “How are  you?” “Partly cloudy with a chance of showers.” Or, as I  usually do, with silence and a smile.

What would happen if, while admitting our “not being fine,” instead of claiming it as our primary identity, we described the ways we’ve made it to the other side of the negative or asked for help in seeing how the apparently negative could be a possibility? What if the problems were presented as a chance to share job opportunities or to explore new ways to deal with your “difficult” mother?

As another example maybe one can say “cancer survivor” when talking about someone. But what if that person’s preferred identity is one who rejoices in flowers or who has discovered new cooking techniques, or who has set a new record in the javelin throw? And had also, by the way, survived cancer.

One reason I’m confused is that I know I dismiss some of this. “You really were life threateningly sick,” my doctor scolded me. “Oh,” I answered. And I think he’s right. I need to claim that part of my life even though I’d rather forget it. I joke, although I’m actually serious, that when I “earn the right” to share onstage, my line is that people can choose what “D” they need for me to expand for them. Death, divorce, disease, debt, degrees, depression, decadence, debauchery, even, perhaps, desires…, etc. But what I want to share and so “claim” to “earn the right” is the excitement, joy, and achievement on the other side. No, not on the “other side,” but as part of every side.

Because a major piece of our mandate to change the world involves daring to hope that it will change. Yes, I understand, that for some of you, that seems almost impossible. (You might want to reread our first conversation for a vision of why it’s not impossible.) But take the risk. Hope involves daring to see that something not only will and can change, but is changing. And this gives it space and direction in which to continue to change for the better.

The mandate is to dare to claim joy and excitement now.

So “How are you?” “Well, my knee hurts sometimes, but I’ve been swimming almost every day; I have a couple of new ideas on things to share with Spirit Moxie; I’ve met some new friends; I’ve started a new Facebook page; and I’ve had some chances to cook again.”

You?

_________________________
Photos from the top:

Fish — Spirit Moxie
Rusted Cars — David A. Lynch
Abandoned — David A. Lynch

Continuing the conversation on Just Be.

There are hundreds of books and websites on walking the labyrinth. They include meditations and prayers to use while you’re walking. Most extol the benefits of “using” a labyrinth. I haven’t read or watched any of them.

But I have been told somewhere that walking a traditional labyrinth (one that is actually a path that goes to the center as opposed to a maze), is a useful practice. So I walk them whenever I get a chance, even if I’m not sure why.

A few days ago I found myself with a free afternoon in San Francisco and headed to Grace Cathedral where there are two labyrinths, one inside and one outside. As I’ve been deliberately going where my body and the moment want to take me I wasn’t surprised that, while I headed toward Chinatown, I ended up at the cathedral. Plus I was tired of walking so just sat for awhile after I got there. But I’d promised myself that I’d walk the labyrinths, so I slowly started on the beautiful inside one.

Just being. Quickly I learned that if I didn’t look without distraction at each step as I took it, I’d get off the path. The path wasn’t that wide and certainly not that straight. Even regular walking became too active. The only way around the turns was taking baby steps. Watching each one. So, as I walked, it actually didn’t matter where I was going. Or if I were going anywhere. The important part became each step. And whenever my mind wandered (which of course it did, being human and all), I found the wandering didn’t work. There was a sense that I was missing something by worrying or planning. What was missing was my actual experience of the steps. That process was what was important and interesting.

Sometimes when I looked up I was almost at the center, but then the path curved away. And then came a wider turn or a long straight stretch. Step by step. Suddenly I did find myself in the center. But while that was, in a way, exciting and fulfilling, it was also only temporary. Again, it was step by step leading where? Oh, I knew it was to the exit. And it looked a few times as if I were almost there. And then suddenly I was.

Outside, half the labyrinth was in shadow, and as I’d already walked one, I found myself noticing other things as I continued step by step. First, anywhere I stopped was perfect. A lily-shaped flower. Tourists engaged in that random, but deliberate, curiosity tourists seem to have. Seeing my shadow. Had I already reached the center? I didn’t think so, but really couldn’t remember. Just keep going step by step. Ah, here it is. I sat on the ground for a while. Because I could? But then I had to get up, and again, it was step by step to the exit.

So what does this have to do with Spirit Moxie? Somehow it was the strength of trusting the path and that my steps were going in the right direction without my really knowing what that goal or destination might be.

I suggest you try it. You don’t need a labyrinth.  Go to the park or even a city sidewalk and just walk. See what you see. Go where you go. Be. You.

_______________________________

Information on Grace Cathedral’s Labyrinths

All photos by Spirit Moxie: from the top
inside Labyrinth, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco
Outside Labyrinth, Grace Cathedral, San Francisco
A flower on the cathedral grounds
Shadow of author on outside labyrinth